Erase Me

Remembrance Day

On this Remembrance Day, millions will stop at 11 am to remember those lost in military conflicts and wear the red poppy. But I won't. The poppy, inspired by the poem "In Flanders Fields," honours the sacrifices of the Armed Forces, but not the enemies' servicemen, women, or civilians. The UK has seen "poppy fascism," where people expect others to wear it, and there's uproar when someone chooses not to.

All loss of life is tragic, and I believe all life is equal, regardless of gender, colour, race, or religion. It's hard for me not to feel more sympathy for an innocent Iraqi civilian than a military serviceman who had a choice to be there. The military profession can no longer be seen as honourable. Those serving should question if their motives align with those of who they fight for.

My children's great-great grandparents fought (and died) in the Great War... for the enemy! They too were victims, innocent pawns sent to their deaths with no choice. I'd like to pay my respects to all my family on Remembrance Day, not just half. A red poppy to some would be quite an insult. All lives are worthy of remembrance. #RemembranceDay #redpoppy #honoringall

Never Forget

I don't know what it was
that made me love you.
Or what it was that made you
Hate me the way you do.
I remember what you said
And I remember what you did
And it never made sense

You were there
And then you weren't

You had my heart
And I had yours
You said it was love
So I stayed

Maybe it was too much
Maybe it wasn't enough

But I will never forget
The way you made me feel
Like I was everything
And I will never forget
The way you made me feel
Like I was nothing

Antonio M. Arce

Only Once In Your Life

Parental Responsibility

In the world of parenting, bringing new life into the world comes with immense responsibility. It is a responsibility that requires maturity and a willingness to put someone else's needs ahead of one's own. A strong relationship between both parents is crucial, and it should be capable of withstanding even the toughest strains of parenthood. As first-time parents, raising a child can be difficult and not something to be taken lightly. It is a responsibility that should not be entered into without careful thought and planning, as it is not fair on the children.

A relationship with children should be worked at and, in most cases, six weeks is not enough time. Sometimes relationships may end, but when it comes to children, both parents should do everything possible to ensure that their children are not negatively affected by the split, regardless of whose 'fault' it is. Neither parent should look to gain from the split, whether financially or in terms of parenting.

Children should have contact with both parents as they did when they lived together as a family, except in extreme circumstances. Children do not choose for their parents to split up, and they should not have to bear the brunt of any disputes between their parents.

I missed out on knowing my biological father because my parents decided not to be together, and I did not choose that. I take full responsibility for my own mistakes and my decision to procreate with someone, but I do not believe my children should suffer because of my actions.

Some women have the maturity to maintain close contact with their children's father even after their romantic relationship ends. It is commendable that they resist the urge to sever ties as punishment for past indiscretions because they understand that by punishing the ex, they would be punishing their children.

It is important to separate personal feelings from the responsibilities of being a parent. When a relationship ends, both parents must ensure that their children have a loving and meaningful relationship with both parents and both extended families. Children have a right to maintain a relationship with both parents, and it is a basic human right that should not be denied.

When one parent attempts to alter the share of parenting when a relationship ends or tries to prevent their children from contacting the other parent because of their personal feelings towards that parent, it is manipulative and abusive, both to the absent parent and to the children. As someone who has experienced this both as a child and as a parent, I feel confident in saying that such behavior is always wrong.