David Mitchell - The Story of My Marriage (How I Met Victoria Coren)

Enchanted Wonderland

As I drew back the curtains, a vision of pure magic awaited - a pristine blanket of snow glistening in the soft morning light, while delicate snowflakes danced their way to the ground. I was left breathless, taken aback by the sheer beauty of it all. With eager anticipation, I quickly dressed warmly to venture outside, and as I stepped out, I was greeted with smiles from everyone around. The snow had brought us all closer, as we braved the weather together.

Underfoot, the satisfying crunch of snow was music to my ears, while the tickle of large snowflakes on my nose and cheeks filled me with delight. As I made my way to the cemetery, it was as if I had stumbled upon a fairytale wonderland - a world transformed by snow into something truly magical.

Every step brought me closer to an ethereal peace, and as I entered the cemetery, I was struck by its sublime beauty. The snow had transformed the grounds into a realm of enchanted serenity, a tranquil paradise unlike any other.

The biting cold left my fingers and toes tingling, but the sensation of toasting them by the fire when I returned was the perfect end to an exquisite experience. I'm glad I didn't stay in bed.

How To Change Your Life For The Better

- Do things your future self will thank you for.

- Eat well. Get your calories in. Make sure your diet is balanced. Take supplements if you don't like vegetables. Have smoothies if you don't like fruit. Drink protein shakes between meals and before and after exercise.

- Brush your teeth twice a day.

- Drink plenty of water even if you're not thirsty.

- Make your bed every morning. How will you change the world if you can't make your bed?

- Keep your living space clean and tidy. Do it as you go, and it will become second nature.

- Be confident enough to be yourself. Embrace your body. If you can't embrace it because you feel ugly, then get in shape, for goodness' sake.

- Get in shape. Work out every day. You'll feel better and look better too.

- Don't be an asshole. 

- Be honest, even when the truth hurts. 

- Be polite. Manners cost nothing; if you're kind to people, you're more likely to get what you want.

- Be kind to everyone. You never know what demons people are fighting.

- Be humble. You never know when the wheel of fortune will turn.

- Say sorry when you're wrong. Change your mind when valid evidence supports it.

- Don't make decisions when you're angry. Let the emotion subside, and then make a decision based on facts. If there isn't time for that, go with your gut.

- Go with your gut. Listen to your inner voice.

- Don't be afraid to make mistakes, but never make the same mistake twice.

- Do what you love.

- Surround yourself with people you admire. It might rub off.

- Distance yourself from people that drain you and people you don't respect.

- Embrace every opportunity that comes your way.

- If you commit to something, do it with passion and do it well

- Don't put things off. Could you do it now?

- Don't pigeonhole yourself. You're never too old to learn.

- Look at the world with the energy and enthusiasm of a five-year-old.

- Don't worry what people think of you. If you're authentic, people will like you. Those that don't aren't worth worrying about

- Don't chase women. Instead, show them who you are, and the right one will chase you.

- Life is short. Make each day count. Walk through the cemetery to remind yourself of this.

- Enjoy the rain, but take a brolly.

- Dress for the weather.

- Wear things you love - express yourself.

- Get your living space exactly as you want it.

- Enjoy free things. Get out in nature. See something green daily, and find some water to look at every week.

- Walk at least 10,000 steps each day

- Heal old arguments. Forgive those who have wronged you. Be the bigger person. Life is too short.

- Focus on what you can control. Fuck everything else.

- Don't smoke. If you can't stop, get a vape pen, so you don't die of cancer.

- List your ailments, go to the doctor, and get them sorted.

- Be the best possible version of yourself.

- Don't rely on anyone else. Hope for the best in everyone, but expect the worst. Then, you'll always be satisfied.

Try this for thirty days, and let me know how it goes.

Forgiveness

Forgiveness

Forgiveness, a weighty task

For those who've wronged us in the past

But still we try, with hope in heart

To move beyond the pain and start

My parents, who split before my eyes

Left me with questions, without goodbyes

My father, distant, rarely near

A stranger to me, throughout the years

My children's mother, she took flight

Left me alone, in the dead of night

Accusations hurled, lies abound

My world shattered, my heart unbound

My family, they turned away

Disowned me, left me in dismay

And at school, just a young child

Pushed down, teased, left hurt inside.

My ex, who played a cruel game

Lied to me, with no sense of shame

In love with someone new, I learned

But falsely blamed, my fate was turned

The bullies who laughed at my legs

The one who smashed a bottle on my head

And those who broke my bones, so true

I forgive them all, what else can I do?

For in forgiveness, there is strength

It frees the soul, it takes the length

Of pain and anger, hurt and fear

And turns it into love, so clear

So I forgive, and I let go

Of all the pain, the hurt, the woe

For life is short, and time flies fast

And in forgiveness, we find peace at last.

20 Life Lessons for the Brave and Bold

For my children

20 Life Lessons for the Brave and Bold

From J.K. Rowling's pen, I bring to you,

Twenty lessons that will help to see you through.

Nobody cares, but don't you despair,

Embrace who you are, and show that you care.

The more you give, the more you'll receive,

So set your sights high, and always believe.

No act of kindness is ever too small,

For the ocean of life embraces us all.

No work is beneath you, that's for sure,

So get your hands dirty, and keep your heart pure.

Start meditating, find peace in your mind,

And your thoughts and your actions will be more aligned.

Don't be afraid to take risks, to be bold,

For the timid and shy will never grow old.

Don't make decisions when notions run high,

Take time to consider; let your emotions subside.

Be patient and persistent, keep your head high,

And your spirit will soar, like the birds in the sky.

You don't need to impress everyone you meet,

Just be true to yourself, and your goals will be sweet.

Listen to learn and your mind will grow,

With knowledge and wisdom that will surely flow.

Enrich your thoughts, don't let them remain,

Stagnant and still, like a train without a lane.

Don't take the easy road, it's not worth the cost,

For the path that is challenging is where you'll find the most.

Start reading books, they're a treasure trove,

Of knowledge and wisdom, that will help you to grow.

Respect others as you would respect yourself,

And your life will be filled with joy and with wealth.

Narrow down your focus bit by bit,

And your goals will be clear, you'll have a plan, you'll be fit.

You quit, you lose, you fail, that's a fact,

So put your best foot forward, and give it your best crack.

Don't bother what other people think or say,

Just be true to yourself, and your goals will not sway.

Learn something new every day, it's the key,

To a life that is filled with possibility.

Don't make assumptions, they can lead you astray,

Just open your eyes, and your mind will pave the way.

Believe in yourself, that's the final key,

To unlock the door to your destiny.

With these lessons in mind, you'll go far,

And shine like the moon and the brightest star.

The Mystery Of The Moon

Let's talk about the moon. We've all seen it, we all know what it looks like. But have you ever stopped to consider how strange it really is?

For one thing, the moon is the perfect size and distance from the Earth to create the conditions for life to thrive. It helps to stabilise our planet's rotation and maintain its climate. But what's even more intriguing is the fact that the moon seems to be resonating like a bell.

That's right, you heard me. The moon appears to be vibrating at a specific frequency, almost as if it's hollow. And that's not the only unusual thing about it. The moon is made up of a unique combination of materials that don't match anything else in our solar system. And its orbit is also very precise, almost as if it was intentionally placed there.

Now, the current theory is that the moon formed from debris left over after a giant impact between the Earth and another object. And that's a plausible theory, certainly. But there are holes in that theory. For one thing, the materials that make up the moon are very different from what we would expect from such a collision. And the moon's precise orbit is also difficult to explain using the current theory.

So, what if there's more to the story? What if the moon is actually the product of an extraterrestrial civilization? Maybe it was deliberately placed in orbit around the Earth for a reason. Maybe it was created to stabilise our planet and make it habitable. Maybe it was even designed to send us a message.

I'm not saying that's definitely the case, of course. But it's worth considering the possibility. Let's keep exploring the mysteries of the universe and keep an open mind about what we might discover. Who knows what other secrets are waiting to be uncovered?

 

A View From The Tree Stump

With walls climbing high and ivy so fair,

Our chance meeting happened at the library without a care.

Her polka-dot dress and French sandals with ease,

Embodying the English rose, she swayed in the gentle breeze.

Her beauty not a fleeting glance could grasp,

It grew with each moment, as if given a second chance to last.

Her heart and soul, the most precious of all,

Worth more to me than any gem or hall.

With hazel eyes that shone, and lips of cherry red,

Her hair and cheekbones finely bred.

That she liked me, I could hardly believe,

But grateful for our love, forever to perceive.

In denim shorts and converse boots on our feet,

We left the town's noise for a sanctuary complete.

Birds and crickets filled the air with their sound,

My heart beating fast, the only noise I found.

The orange blossom scent followed us all the way,

A fragrance of love that blossomed that day.

As we looked at the graves and talked our worries away,

I knew in my heart that this was where I wanted to stay.

Eating sandwiches and crisps, drinking Vimto, too,

Our senses entwined with a love so true.

The setting sun painted the sky with gold,

A moment of love that we'll forever hold.

She was the sunrise that lit up my day,

The moon that guided me in every way.

In her, I found my sanctuary of love,

A place where the heart finds peace like a dove.

The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself - A Review

I recently finished reading "Untethered Soul" by Michael Singer, and I have to say, it's a remarkable book. As someone who has been through some tough times, I was looking for something to help me regain my sense of self, and this book did just that.

The author explores the idea of our inner voice and how it can impact our emotions and overall well-being. He provides insights on how to detach ourselves from the constant chatter in our minds, which is a skill that I have found invaluable in dealing with my own struggles.

I found this book particularly helpful following a difficult breakup. Although Singer doesn't specifically discuss relationships, his philosophy around finding happiness within ourselves instead of relying on others has given me the strength to move forward. And while I won't go into details, let's just say it has been transformative.

The book isn't always an easy read, but it's worth persevering with. It's a thought-provoking, powerful read that has reinvigorated me in a way that I haven't felt for a long time. It's given me the tools to work on my inner self and take control of my thoughts and emotions.

I highly recommend "Untethered Soul" to anyone who is searching for a deeper understanding of themselves and their place in the world. This book has helped me to rediscover a sense of joy and hope that I thought was lost. It's a game-changer.

Crafting a Winning Personal Statement: Not Your Average Guide

I am a multi-talented force of nature, with the ability to juggle chainsaws while riding a unicycle and singing opera. I once swam across the English Channel with a piano strapped to my back, and I’ve climbed Mount Everest in high heels.

I have an encyclopedic knowledge of 80’s pop music, and I can recite every episode of The Simpsons from memory. I speak five languages fluently, including Pig Latin and Klingon. I’m a black belt in karate, a chess grandmaster, and a nationally-ranked thumb wrestler.

I’ve run a marathon in a tutu, won a hot dog eating contest without breaking a sweat, and can solve a Rubik’s cube in under 30 seconds blindfolded. I’ve also written a bestselling cookbook, where every recipe features Spam as the main ingredient.

I’ve been invited to speak at the United Nations on the benefits of taking daily naps, and I once arm-wrestled the Dalai Lama to a tie. I’ve swam with sharks, bungee-jumped off the Eiffel Tower, and built a working time machine out of Lego.

I glide, I spin, I dash, I romp, and my debts are all settled. On weekends, to unwind, I engage in extreme interpretive dance. Ages ago, I uncovered the secret to eternal youth but misplaced the manual. I have created exquisite five-star feasts with only a toaster oven and a toothpick.

I cultivate championship-winning cacti. I have triumphed in arm-wrestling matches in Rio de Janeiro, skydiving championships in Madagascar, and Scrabble tournaments at the White House. I have starred in Phantom of the Opera, I have conducted brain surgery, and I have chatted with Bigfoot.

What Is Time (Part I)

So what is time, really? We could start with the standard definition, of course: “the fourth dimension… a measure in which events can be ordered from the past, through the present, into the future… also the measure of durations of events and the intervals between them.” But does that definition truly capture the essence of time? Perhaps not.

As Einstein once remarked, “[time] is not at all what it seems. It does not flow in only one direction, and the future exists simultaneously with the past. The distinction between past, present, and future is only a stubbornly persistent illusion.” So what are we to make of that? Is time a mere fabrication of our minds, a construct that we impose on the world around us? Or is it a more fundamental aspect of reality, something that transcends our limited human perception?

It’s worth considering the role of our senses in all this. Our experience of the external physical world comes to us via one of the twenty-one or so-known human senses. But these senses are both fallible and ever so slightly delayed. For instance, it takes approximately eighty milliseconds for the sensation of touch to travel from the fingertip, through the nervous system and into the brain to be decoded and interpreted. The same logic applies to all our other senses. We experience everything about eighty milliseconds in the past. So are we ever truly living in the ‘here and now’?

And what of the units we use to measure time — seconds, hours, days, months, years? Who came up with these terms, and why do we use them? The answers may surprise you. But one thing is clear: whether we’re talking about the passage of a single millisecond or the arc of an entire year, time remains one of the most enigmatic and fascinating phenomena in the universe.

The concepts of a second, hour, day, month, and year all flow together into an inscrutable river of moments, oscillating and multiplying like subatomic particles within an atom.

Days and years come to us by way of the great celestial dance between the Earth, Sun, and Moon, but they’re all subject to the slight distortions of human measurement, a cosmic foxtrot that never quite syncs up to the beat.

The Moon’s gravitational pull ebbs and flows like a quarter-daily tidal wave, while the lunar cycle is the rough inspiration for our man-made months. But why are these units so inconsistently shaped and numerically diverse?

A minute passes in sixty seconds, but why sixty? Could it have been fifty or seventy-five? These questions might cause a ripple in the mind, but the answer lies in the vibration of a caesium 133 atom. A second is the duration of 9,192,631,770 oscillations within one of these atoms — naturally!

Who first dreamed up these chronometric units, and what were their intentions? Perhaps they were scholars, scientists, or philosophers, trying to impose an order onto the turbulent flow of existence. Or maybe they were just folks looking for a way to kill time.

The notion of time as we know it today is a purely human invention. The minute is a derivative of the Latin word ‘minuta’, meaning short note, and has no natural equivalent. The concept of hours can be traced back to the Babylonians and was later adopted by the Greeks. However, these hours varied in length, as daylight hours changed with the seasons. It was only in the fourth century in Europe that standard, or sidereal hours, were established, and even as late as the sixteenth century, hours could still be irregular in duration.

The week is thought to have originated from the lunar cycle, segmented into four discreet seven-day periods. Later, the seven-day Jewish week and the spread of Christianity cemented the week as a human convention. In Old English, the word for week was ‘wece’, which means change of direction, while the Old Norse word ‘vika’ means changing of oars, both accurately conveying the impact of the week on the human mind.

The week forces us into a monotonous routine, repeating itself predictably every seven days. It is also intimately linked with work and trains us to live our lives to a routine. But what if all days were equal? How would that change the way we approach work and leisure time? These questions are worth pondering.

Next, the month, the messiest of all man-made units of time. It’s a real head-scratcher, isn’t it? The Moon orbits the Earth thirteen times a year, giving us thirteen neat lunar months of twenty-eight days each. Simple, right? So why do we have twelve lopsided months of varying lengths? Thirty days for some, thirty-one for others, and poor February only gets twenty-eight, except in leap years. Why is September the ninth month, rather than the seventh, and why is October the tenth month, not the eighth? It’s a right kerfuffle.

And let’s not forget that the weeks don’t even line up with the months, except for February, which always seems to get the short end of the stick. Imagine if the centimetres on a ruler were all different lengths. Ludicrous, isn’t it? So why do we put up with this ugly asymmetry in our calendar? Why do we have a calendar at all?

Well, the answer lies in the word calendar itself. It comes from the Latin word “calends,” which was used to describe the monthly payment of debts and bills. Coincidence? I think not. Throughout history, calendars have been a powerful tool used by the ruling classes to control and tax the common folk. Everything from meetings to paychecks to leisure time is governed by the calendar and clock. It’s a rhythm of life that we’ve all grown accustomed to, but it’s a predictable and artificial pattern created by man, primarily with the aim of control and the motivation of greed.

The Gregorian calendar, introduced by Pope Gregory XIII in 1582, is the most widely used calendar in the world today. It’s a refinement of the Julian calendar, introduced by Julius Caesar in 45 BC, which was itself a refinement of an earlier Roman calendar that had only ten months and started with Martius (now known as March). More months were added over time for various reasons, eventually bringing the total to thirteen. With the lunar cycle of thirteen months, it would have been perfect to stop there. But Julius Caesar had other ideas, didn’t he?

You see, back in 46 BC, the transition from the Roman calendar to the new Julian calendar required an entire year of 445 days! Yes, you heard me right, 445 days! And understandably, that year became known as the ‘year of confusion.’ But that’s just the beginning of this wild tale.

Julius Caesar, the man behind this change, had abolished a leap month called Mercedonius and renamed Quintilis (initially the fifth month) to Julius. His successor, Augustus, was so impressed with this that he did the same with Sextilis (initially the sixth month) and renamed it Augustus. But here’s where it gets really interesting. Augustus was dismayed to discover that Julius’ month had one more day than his, so he did what any self-respecting emperor would do: he took a day from February, the already shortest month, to ensure both months had the same length. In other words, the reason months are months is because of a competition between two men who couldn’t agree on whose testicles were bigger.

But let’s take a step back and think about the impact of all this. You see, many ancient civilizations used a 28-day lunar cycle, which wasn’t an accident. Humans have been living in harmony with natural cycles for over 150,000 years, and for most of that time, our survival depended on it. But the creation of artificial routines like weeks and months has detached us from the natural cycles we’ve grown accustomed to.

Take women, for example. The 28-day menstrual cycle aligns perfectly with the lunar cycle. In ancient times, before the construction of weeks and months, women would have their menstruation aligned with the new Moon and their ovulation aligned with the full Moon. Imagine the impact this might have had if all women’s menstrual cycles were aligned.

Now, I know what you’re thinking. This is all very interesting, but what does it all mean? Well, my dear audience, that’s a question for another time. Join me for the next part of this fascinating tale, where we’ll explore the true impact of artificial time on the human psyche and what we can do to reclaim our connection to the natural cycles that have sustained us for millennia. Until then, keep questioning everything, my friends!

Letting Go

Letting Go 

Think not that I still, when making tea,

Take two cups out; one for you, one for me.

Think not that I lose myself, in your hair,

Each time I find a strand so fair.

Think not that I, when homeward bound,

Check the window, hoping you'll be found.

Think not that I reach out, in the night,

To feel your touch, or hold you tight.

Think not that I miss, our morning embrace,

Or the way you brightened my waking face.

Think not that I climb, the stairs with glee,

Expecting you to reply, when I say "hello" to thee.

Think not that I, through old photos, wade,

In search of moments, for which I've stayed.

Think not that my heart races, when someone I see,

That looks like you, but is not meant to be.

Think not that I wander, through places so fair,

Hoping to find you, waiting there.

Think not that I miss you, for it cannot be;

In truth, I've set you free.

Crime and Punishment: A Review

I find myself in love with the art of writing, yet I confess I do not indulge in the act of reading nearly as much as I should. It's a curious thing, really. Each time I immerse myself in a book, I am left feeling invigorated and enlightened. The experience is never a letdown, for it always manages to bestow upon me some valuable insight. I tried the classic, Crime and Punishment, and was struck by its pertinence to contemporary existence. It's hard to believe that this masterpiece, crafted in the mid-nineteenth century, still speaks volumes to our modern-day lives.

The main character in Crime and Punishment, Raskolnikov, is a complex and tortured figure whose actions and thoughts are shaped by a number of internal and external factors. While the circumstances surrounding his life are unique, there are aspects of his story that can resonate with many people. In particular, his feelings of guilt, shame, and confusion may be relatable to anyone who is hiding a secret.

Raskolnikov is a character who is both driven and conflicted. His desire to prove himself as an extraordinary individual leads him to commit a murder, and while he initially feels that this action is justified, he is ultimately tormented by his guilt. His struggle to come to terms with his actions is compounded by his poverty, isolation, and sense of alienation from the world around him. These factors contribute to a deep sense of despair, as he tries to reconcile his own values with those of the society in which he lives.

Similarly, someone with a secret to hide may feel a similar sense of conflict and confusion. This person may feel torn between their feelings for their partner and their desire to be with someone else. They may experience feelings of guilt and shame, as well as a sense of isolation and alienation from the people around them. These feelings can be compounded by a sense of pressure from society to conform to traditional values and norms.

Like Raskolnikov, someone in this situation may also experience a sense of despair as they struggle to reconcile their own desires with the expectations of the world around them. They may feel trapped and powerless, unable to express their true feelings or pursue the life they want to live. They may also feel as though they are alone in their struggle, unable to share their feelings with others for fear of judgment or rejection.

Despite these challenges, both Raskolnikov and anyone in this situation may find hope in their ability to take responsibility for their actions and make positive changes in their lives. By acknowledging their feelings and taking steps to address them, they can begin to find a sense of peace and fulfilment. This may involve seeking therapy or counselling, talking to trusted friends or family members, or even ending a relationship if it is not fulfilling their needs.

Ultimately, the story of Crime and Punishment offers a powerful message of redemption and the possibility of finding meaning and purpose in life, even in the face of overwhelming challenges. While the circumstances surrounding Raskolnikov's life are extreme, his journey can offer insights and inspiration to anyone who is struggling to come to terms with their own desires and values. By embracing their true selves and taking action to live a more authentic life, they can find the peace and fulfilment they seek.

The Cemetery Chronicles: Personal Reflections on Northamptonshire's Graveyards - #1 London Road Cemetery, Kettering

#1 London Road Cemetery, Kettering

As a deep-thinking introvert, I have always found solace and tranquillity amidst the peaceful serenity of graveyards. During the toughest times in my life, a long walk through a cemetery has always been my refuge, helping to clear my mind, ease my anxiety, and reduce my stress. Being surrounded by the graves of so many departed souls provides me with a sense of perspective, reminding me that the problems that seem so big and insurmountable in my life are truly insignificant in the grand scheme of things.

And how fortunate am I to have so many beautiful cemeteries sprinkled throughout Northamptonshire and the surrounding counties. Through research into my family tree, I discovered that many of my own ancestors are buried right under my nose, which only adds to the richness and depth of my cemetery explorations.

In the late summer of 2019, I acquired a van after six years without a car, and my cemetery explorations could take on a new level of adventure and excitement. With a belly full of roast chicken or pork, my partner and I set off on Sunday afternoons like two explorers on a quest for hidden treasure. We braved rain, snow, wind, heat waves, and rainbows, laughing, singing, and munching on boiled sweets as we ventured forth in search of new discoveries.

London Road Cemetery is a quiet sanctuary that holds a special place in my heart. It's the final resting place of my great-grandfather, who passed away in 1999, as well as dozens of other relatives, including a 5th great-grandfather. But what makes this cemetery truly memorable are the little moments that I've shared there.

One such moment was the time I stumbled upon a bin full of dog poo bags in different colours. Maybe it was because I was love drunk, but I found something oddly beautiful about the scene. My date couldn't stop laughing, and I felt a little foolish for finding humour in such a thing, but it's those silly moments that stay with you.

The cemetery is also where I had my most romantic date. My beloved and I enjoyed egg mayonnaise and tuna sandwiches while sitting on a tree stump, and that spot will forever be unofficially ours.

I've seen the cemetery in all seasons, from the vibrant colours of autumn to the blanket of snow in winter, and it's always beautiful. Even on blisteringly hot summer days, when everything looks and smells green, there's a certain magic to the cemetery that can't be denied. And in the springtime, when the flowers are in bloom and the air is alive with the chirping of birds, it's uplifting to stroll among the graves and reflect on the cycle of life. Through every season, London Road Cemetery is a place of peace and reflection, a reminder that even in death, there is beauty to be found.

I remember the time we watched an ancient tree being fell, the smell of fresh wood filling the air. It was like witnessing a piece of history being dismantled before our very eyes. And then there was the time we were followed by a curious cat, always one step behind us, like a feline guardian angel watching over us as we wandered through the peaceful grounds.

We saw some characters there, too. Mad Dog and his mad dog, always a fascinating sight, and the infamous Nathan, a man who seemed to know every inch of the cemetery like the back of his hand. And the time we found a bird that looked like something out of Alien. It was a strange and wondrous discovery that added to the otherworldly vibe of the place.

But perhaps what I cherish most about London Road Cemetery is the hundreds of walks I've taken there, especially during the times when walking was all I could do to escape the pain I felt after losing my children. The serenity and beauty of the cemetery always gave me a sense of solace and comfort, a reminder that life goes on, even when it seems like the world has stopped. London Road Cemetery will always hold a special place in my heart, a testament to the power of nature and the resilience of the human spirit.

The Redamancy of Love

The breeze that came rolling in off the coast was as light as a zephyr, but it carried with it the promise of a perfect day. As the morning sun rose, they took their coffee outside, savouring the chance to sit in the shade and enjoy each other's company. They shared a deep eunoia, an understanding that went beyond words.

Together, they sipped their fika, watching the world go by, the gentle chime of wind bells playing in the background. She was a philocalist, with a love of the world around her that he admired. He, in turn, was her aliferous partner, always ready to take flight and explore new horizons.

As they sat together, they were enveloped in a redamancy, a feeling that their love was the most important thing in the world. They had built a life together, one filled with munificence and kindness, a place where they could retreat from the world and be themselves.

In the evenings, they would retreat to the cosy warmth of their home, the peiskos of the fire filling the room with a gentle warmth. This was their querencia, the place where they felt the most comfortable and at ease. Here, they would lose themselves in a reverie, dreaming of the future they would share together.

As they drifted off to sleep, they knew that they had found something special. Their love was a force that could weather any storm, a thing of beauty that would only grow stronger with time. And as they lay there, wrapped in each other's arms, they knew that their love was the most important thing in the world, a precious gift that they would always cherish.

James Thomas Miller (1876-1960): My Great Great Grandfather

James (Tom) Thomas Miller (1876-1960) lived a fascinating life that began in Warrenby Redcar, North Yorkshire on October 30th 1876. His family later returned to Burton Latimer, where a 14-year-old Tom worked as a riveter in the town's shoe trade. Tom was also a keen and talented footballer and was vice-captain of Burton Temperance FC, the town's oldest-known football team.

Tom married Annie (Fanny) Manning James in 1897, and they had their first two daughters while living at 37 Bayes Street in Kettering. After their marriage, they moved to Duke Street in Burton Latimer, and by 1911 they had moved to Finedon Street, where Tom worked in the shoe trade as a shoe laster.

During World War I, Tom enlisted with the Royal Navy and performed shore-based duties as an Aircraftsman in the Royal Naval Air Service at RNAS Wormwood Scrubs and RNAS Mullion. He was then absorbed into the newly formed Royal Air Force in 1918.

After the war, Tom returned to his wife and family in Burton Latimer and worked as a newsagent before buying the Burton Fish & Chip Shop, which he ran until passing it down to his youngest child. Tom was also known as "Old Tom" in later life, and he died in Kettering in 1960 at the age of 83.

I feel a strong connection to Tom, even though I never had the chance to meet him. Tom was a remarkable man who ran a fish and chip shop in Burton Latimer. It's surreal to think how often frequented the same place without knowing about his connection to it. I was also a football player, just like Tom, and had a successful stint as a professional for Rushden and Diamonds.

In addition to these similarities, I also did my work experience with the Royal Navy as a teenager, which is something that Tom might have found relatable as well. Although I never pursued it as a career, I considered it seriously for a while. Despite the fact that Tom lived in a different time and place, I feel a strong affinity for him because we share so much in common.

However, there is one significant difference between us that I cannot ignore: my skin colour. As a person of colour, I wonder what Tom would have thought about me and whether he would have accepted me as his descendant. While I can't know for sure, I still feel a deep sense of connection to him and the legacy he left behind.

The Life of James (Tom) Thomas Miller (1876-1960)

James (Tom) Thomas Miller (1876-1960) was born in Warrenby Redcar, North Yorkshire on October 30th 1876. Warrenby is a small town in present-day Redcar & Cleveland which was founded in 1873 to house workers at the nearby ironworks Downey & Co and Walker Maynard. It is believed that Tom’s father, Charles, was employed by one of these two companies. 

By 1881, Tom, his parents, and his many siblings had returned to Burton Latimer, to Nichol’s Yard on the High Street. They were still at Nichol’s Yard in 1891 when a 14-year-old Tom worked as a riveter in the town’s shoe trade. 

As a young man, Tom was a keen and talented footballer. He was vice-captain of Burton’s oldest-known football team - Burton Temperance FC. The picture below was taken at the end of the 1893/94 season. Tom is second left on the back row, and to his right is goalkeeper and captain William (Billy) Henry Perkins (1876-?) who went on to play for Liverpool FC, Luton Town FC and Northampton Town FC amongst other teams.

A quote from Tom was printed alongside the team photo in a newspaper article in c.1934.

 “Perhaps there was not the scope to show up in those days as there is today, as there were no League or Cups to play for. The only Cup, as far as I can remember, was one which Mr Bill Cattell gave, and which was played at the Kettering North Park grounds, which he used to own. We reached the semi-final on one occasion, but were beaten by Finedon Excelsiors, who went on to win the cup, beating the then-famous junior team, Kettering Vics. Probably the Finedon Excelsiors were the best junior team of all time. We had many strenuous games, and some exciting times, even in those days; but the Temperance eventually ceased to exist, and it became the Burton Vics., who took its place, and who also did well, winning the North Section of the Kettering United in the final by 1-0; and incidentally that goal came off my legs.”

Tom married Annie (Fanny) Manning James (1876–1963) at St Peter & Paul's Church in Kettering on April 19th 1897. Fanny was the daughter of  Edward James (1852-1881) and Mary Elson (1851-?) of Kettering. 

On their marriage documents, Tom & Fanny are both listed as living at 37 Bayes Street in Kettering. This suggests that Tom and Fanny may have lived together as an unmarried couple for a short time, with Fanny’s parents. After their marriage, they moved to Duke Street in Burton Latimer, where they can be found living in 1901 with their first two daughters -  Winifred (Winnie) Ellen Miller (1898–1977) and Gladys Ada Miller (1899–1985).

By 1911 the family had moved to Finedon Street in Burton Latimer, Tom still worked in the shoe trade, but now as a ‘shoe-laster’. At the outbreak of World War I in 1914, Tom enlisted with the Royal Navy. He completed basic training at Crystal Palace Naval Depot in London; performed shore-based duties as an Aircraftsman in the Royal Naval Air Service at RNAS Wormwood Scrubs in London and RNAS Mullion in Cornwall.

Whilst stationed at Mullion, as a Private, he was absorbed into the newly formed Royal Air Force on April 1st 1918. His enlistment record reveals many details about his physical appearance at the time  - he was 5 ft 6 inches tall, had brown eyes and grey hair, and his complexion was described as ‘fresh’. Tom’s chest measurement was 39 inches and he had a birthmark on his left shoulder.

The record also shows that Tom was engaged in hostilities on five occasions between 1917 and 1918, three times aboard HMS President II and twice aboard HMS Daedalus. Tom’s younger brother Samuel also served aboard these vessels at the same time. In Burton Latimer’s electoral rolls of 1918 Tom’s home address is listed as Roseberry Street and he is recorded as an ‘absent voter’. 

After the war, Tom returned to his wife and family in Burton Latimer, and they continued to live on Roseberry Street until at least 1934. During this time Tom worked as a newsagent at 58 High Street in Burton Latimer. 

By 1935 Tom and Fanny had bought 52/54 High Street - Burton Fish & Chip Shop - which they ran until 1940 when ownership of the chip shop was passed down to their youngest child, also called Tom. After leaving the chip shop the couple moved to 41 Queensway in Burton Latimer where they saw out their days. Whilst at this address the couple are known to have had a red setter called Jess, it is also known that Tom liked to smoke a pipe.

In later life Tom became known as Old Tom, partly to avoid confusion with his son who was also called Tom (James Thomas Miller). Old Tom died in Kettering on October 6th 1960, he was 83 years old. Fanny died nearly three years later in Wellingborough, together they had seven children:

The Greatest Speech Ever Made

Transcript:

I’m sorry, but I don’t want to be an emperor. That’s not my business. I don’t want to rule or conquer anyone. I should like to help everyone - if possible - Jew, Gentile - black man - white. We all want to help one another. Human beings are like that. We want to live by each other’s happiness - not by each other’s misery. We don’t want to hate and despise one another. In this world there is room for everyone. And the good earth is rich and can provide for everyone. The way of life can be free and beautiful, but we have lost the way.

Greed has poisoned men’s souls, has barricaded the world with hate, has goose-stepped us into misery and bloodshed. We have developed speed, but we have shut ourselves in. Machinery that gives abundance has left us in want. Our knowledge has made us cynical. Our cleverness, hard and unkind. We think too much and feel too little. More than machinery we need humanity. More than cleverness we need kindness and gentleness. Without these qualities, life will be violent and all will be lost.

The aeroplane and the radio have brought us closer together. The very nature of these inventions cries out for the goodness in men - cries out for universal brotherhood - for the unity of us all. Even now my voice is reaching millions throughout the world - millions of despairing men, women, and little children - victims of a system that makes men torture and imprison innocent people.

To those who can hear me, I say - do not despair. The misery that is now upon us is but the passing of greed - the bitterness of men who fear the way of human progress. The hate of men will pass, and dictators die, and the power they took from the people will return to the people. And so long as men die, liberty will never perish. …..

Soldiers! don’t give yourselves to brutes - men who despise you - enslave you - who regiment your lives - tell you what to do - what to think and what to feel! Who drill you - diet you - treat you like cattle, use you as cannon fodder. Don’t give yourselves to these unnatural men - machine men with machine minds and machine hearts! You are not machines! You are not cattle! You are men! You have the love of humanity in your hearts! You don’t hate! Only the unloved hate - the unloved and the unnatural! Soldiers! Don’t fight for slavery! Fight for liberty!

In the 17th Chapter of St Luke it is written: “the Kingdom of God is within man” - not one man nor a group of men, but in all men! In you! You, the people have the power - the power to create machines. The power to create happiness! You, the people, have the power to make this life free and beautiful, to make this life a wonderful adventure.

Then - in the name of democracy - let us use that power - let us all unite. Let us fight for a new world - a decent world that will give men a chance to work - that will give youth a future and old age a security. By the promise of these things, brutes have risen to power. But they lie! They do not fulfil that promise. They never will!

Dictators free themselves but they enslave the people! Now let us fight to fulfil that promise! Let us fight to free the world - to do away with national barriers - to do away with greed, with hate and intolerance. Let us fight for a world of reason, a world where science and progress will lead to all men’s happiness. Soldiers! in the name of democracy, let us all unite!

Final speech from The Great Dictator Copyright © Roy Export S.A.S. All rights reserved

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The Only People For Me

 

“[...]the only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars"

Jack Kerouac

Ridiculous Revenge

Some people view estranged parents who claim to suffer due to being separated from their children by the other parent as weak, but they could not be more wrong. Being a parent opens up a world of overwhelming responsibility and love, and we are programmed to do anything to protect our children. Unfortunately, this unconditional love makes us vulnerable to the pain inflicted when someone separates us from our children or undermines our ability to be a responsible parent. Deliberately separating a loving parent from their child and abusing them indefinitely is a way of inflicting severe and ongoing pain on them, but it is not in the best interest of the child.

The symptoms that abused children often manifest are alarming and it is appalling to think that a parent could knowingly hurt their child to hurt their former partner. Parental alienation is abuse, and it is now recognized as such by Cafcass. It is a blunt instrument deliberately contrived by one parent to hurt the other by hurting the one thing they have in common still, their children. The goal is to permanently sever the relationship between their ex and the children either by making them back away in fear or out of guilt generated by the impact their persistence is having on the children. The perpetrators play the victim in the process.

Imagine the mess it makes of a child's mind when they are forced to reject the parent trying to do what is right in favour of the one who holds all the power over them. The targeted parent experiences similar symptoms to those displayed by the abused children over time. They can never rest as the empowered targeting parent constantly changes their schedules and childcare patterns at will. It prevents them from focusing on their careers, well-being, and new relationships because they become obsessed with the abuse of their children. Parental alienation emotionally and often financially destroys the alienated parent. It is almost invisible to third parties who find it hard to believe anyone would stoop so low.

Parental alienation is the perfect revenge for the immoral perpetrator. It empowers them completely, enmeshes the children in the same way Stockholm Syndrome brainwashes captives desperate to survive. It is entirely counter-productive, destroying that which it purports to protect by undermining the earning capacity of the non-resident parent. It also creates a chain of problems for the children that will poison their future. With 1 in 3 marriages ending in divorce and parent alienation spreading like a virus, we cannot ignore the fast-growing evidence that the rates of unhappiness and depression among young people are growing at a frightening rate.

The Absent Gift: A Christmas Haunting

In the silence of the winter night,

A father weeps, without a sight

Of his beloved children, far away,

Their laughter gone, his heart astray.

No holly or ivy can ease his pain,

No carol or song can break his chain,

He longs to hold them close and tight,

To feel their love, their warmth and light.

His memories are all that remain,

Of the days they'd sing and dance in the rain,

Of the nights they'd gather by the tree,

With smiles and hugs so full of glee.

Now the shadows loom, the candles fade,

As he sits alone, in an empty glade,

Whispering their names into the dark,

Hoping his love can reach them, like a spark.

For in his heart they still reside,

A flame that burns, and will not subside,

A bond unbroken, through time and space,

A father's love, that none can replace.

Snowflakes and Memories: A Visit to London Road Cemetery in Winter

I'll take it nice and slow.

Each footprint pressed in snow.

I'll think of you,

Think of you,

As I take the long way home.