Forgiveness

Forgiveness

Forgiveness, a weighty task

For those who've wronged us in the past

But still we try, with hope in heart

To move beyond the pain and start

My parents, who split before my eyes

Left me with questions, without goodbyes

My father, distant, rarely near

A stranger to me, throughout the years

My children's mother, she took flight

Left me alone, in the dead of night

Accusations hurled, lies abound

My world shattered, my heart unbound

My family, they turned away

Disowned me, left me in dismay

And at school, just a young child

Pushed down, teased, left hurt inside.

My ex, who played a cruel game

Lied to me, with no sense of shame

In love with someone new, I learned

But falsely blamed, my fate was turned

The bullies who laughed at my legs

The one who smashed a bottle on my head

And those who broke my bones, so true

I forgive them all, what else can I do?

For in forgiveness, there is strength

It frees the soul, it takes the length

Of pain and anger, hurt and fear

And turns it into love, so clear

So I forgive, and I let go

Of all the pain, the hurt, the woe

For life is short, and time flies fast

And in forgiveness, we find peace at last.

20 Life Lessons for the Brave and Bold

For my children

20 Life Lessons for the Brave and Bold

From J.K. Rowling's pen, I bring to you,

Twenty lessons that will help to see you through.

Nobody cares, but don't you despair,

Embrace who you are, and show that you care.

The more you give, the more you'll receive,

So set your sights high, and always believe.

No act of kindness is ever too small,

For the ocean of life embraces us all.

No work is beneath you, that's for sure,

So get your hands dirty, and keep your heart pure.

Start meditating, find peace in your mind,

And your thoughts and your actions will be more aligned.

Don't be afraid to take risks, to be bold,

For the timid and shy will never grow old.

Don't make decisions when notions run high,

Take time to consider; let your emotions subside.

Be patient and persistent, keep your head high,

And your spirit will soar, like the birds in the sky.

You don't need to impress everyone you meet,

Just be true to yourself, and your goals will be sweet.

Listen to learn and your mind will grow,

With knowledge and wisdom that will surely flow.

Enrich your thoughts, don't let them remain,

Stagnant and still, like a train without a lane.

Don't take the easy road, it's not worth the cost,

For the path that is challenging is where you'll find the most.

Start reading books, they're a treasure trove,

Of knowledge and wisdom, that will help you to grow.

Respect others as you would respect yourself,

And your life will be filled with joy and with wealth.

Narrow down your focus bit by bit,

And your goals will be clear, you'll have a plan, you'll be fit.

You quit, you lose, you fail, that's a fact,

So put your best foot forward, and give it your best crack.

Don't bother what other people think or say,

Just be true to yourself, and your goals will not sway.

Learn something new every day, it's the key,

To a life that is filled with possibility.

Don't make assumptions, they can lead you astray,

Just open your eyes, and your mind will pave the way.

Believe in yourself, that's the final key,

To unlock the door to your destiny.

With these lessons in mind, you'll go far,

And shine like the moon and the brightest star.

The Mystery Of The Moon

Let's talk about the moon. We've all seen it, we all know what it looks like. But have you ever stopped to consider how strange it really is?

For one thing, the moon is the perfect size and distance from the Earth to create the conditions for life to thrive. It helps to stabilise our planet's rotation and maintain its climate. But what's even more intriguing is the fact that the moon seems to be resonating like a bell.

That's right, you heard me. The moon appears to be vibrating at a specific frequency, almost as if it's hollow. And that's not the only unusual thing about it. The moon is made up of a unique combination of materials that don't match anything else in our solar system. And its orbit is also very precise, almost as if it was intentionally placed there.

Now, the current theory is that the moon formed from debris left over after a giant impact between the Earth and another object. And that's a plausible theory, certainly. But there are holes in that theory. For one thing, the materials that make up the moon are very different from what we would expect from such a collision. And the moon's precise orbit is also difficult to explain using the current theory.

So, what if there's more to the story? What if the moon is actually the product of an extraterrestrial civilization? Maybe it was deliberately placed in orbit around the Earth for a reason. Maybe it was created to stabilise our planet and make it habitable. Maybe it was even designed to send us a message.

I'm not saying that's definitely the case, of course. But it's worth considering the possibility. Let's keep exploring the mysteries of the universe and keep an open mind about what we might discover. Who knows what other secrets are waiting to be uncovered?

The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself - A Review

I recently finished reading "Untethered Soul" by Michael Singer, and I have to say, it's a remarkable book. As someone who has been through some tough times, I was looking for something to help me regain my sense of self, and this book did just that.

The author explores the idea of our inner voice and how it can impact our emotions and overall well-being. He provides insights on how to detach ourselves from the constant chatter in our minds, which is a skill that I have found invaluable in dealing with my own struggles.

I found this book particularly helpful following a difficult breakup. Although Singer doesn't specifically discuss relationships, his philosophy around finding happiness within ourselves instead of relying on others has given me the strength to move forward. And while I won't go into details, let's just say it has been transformative.

The book isn't always an easy read, but it's worth persevering with. It's a thought-provoking, powerful read that has reinvigorated me in a way that I haven't felt for a long time. It's given me the tools to work on my inner self and take control of my thoughts and emotions.

I highly recommend "Untethered Soul" to anyone who is searching for a deeper understanding of themselves and their place in the world. This book has helped me to rediscover a sense of joy and hope that I thought was lost. It's a game-changer.

What Is Time (Part I)

So what is time, really? We could start with the standard definition, of course: “the fourth dimension… a measure in which events can be ordered from the past, through the present, into the future… also the measure of durations of events and the intervals between them.” But does that definition truly capture the essence of time? Perhaps not.

As Einstein once remarked, “[time] is not at all what it seems. It does not flow in only one direction, and the future exists simultaneously with the past. The distinction between past, present, and future is only a stubbornly persistent illusion.” So what are we to make of that? Is time a mere fabrication of our minds, a construct that we impose on the world around us? Or is it a more fundamental aspect of reality, something that transcends our limited human perception?

It’s worth considering the role of our senses in all this. Our experience of the external physical world comes to us via one of the twenty-one or so-known human senses. But these senses are both fallible and ever so slightly delayed. For instance, it takes approximately eighty milliseconds for the sensation of touch to travel from the fingertip, through the nervous system and into the brain to be decoded and interpreted. The same logic applies to all our other senses. We experience everything about eighty milliseconds in the past. So are we ever truly living in the ‘here and now’?

And what of the units we use to measure time — seconds, hours, days, months, years? Who came up with these terms, and why do we use them? The answers may surprise you. But one thing is clear: whether we’re talking about the passage of a single millisecond or the arc of an entire year, time remains one of the most enigmatic and fascinating phenomena in the universe.

The concepts of a second, hour, day, month, and year all flow together into an inscrutable river of moments, oscillating and multiplying like subatomic particles within an atom.

Days and years come to us by way of the great celestial dance between the Earth, Sun, and Moon, but they’re all subject to the slight distortions of human measurement, a cosmic foxtrot that never quite syncs up to the beat.

The Moon’s gravitational pull ebbs and flows like a quarter-daily tidal wave, while the lunar cycle is the rough inspiration for our man-made months. But why are these units so inconsistently shaped and numerically diverse?

A minute passes in sixty seconds, but why sixty? Could it have been fifty or seventy-five? These questions might cause a ripple in the mind, but the answer lies in the vibration of a caesium 133 atom. A second is the duration of 9,192,631,770 oscillations within one of these atoms — naturally!

Who first dreamed up these chronometric units, and what were their intentions? Perhaps they were scholars, scientists, or philosophers, trying to impose an order onto the turbulent flow of existence. Or maybe they were just folks looking for a way to kill time.

The notion of time as we know it today is a purely human invention. The minute is a derivative of the Latin word ‘minuta’, meaning short note, and has no natural equivalent. The concept of hours can be traced back to the Babylonians and was later adopted by the Greeks. However, these hours varied in length, as daylight hours changed with the seasons. It was only in the fourth century in Europe that standard, or sidereal hours, were established, and even as late as the sixteenth century, hours could still be irregular in duration.

The week is thought to have originated from the lunar cycle, segmented into four discreet seven-day periods. Later, the seven-day Jewish week and the spread of Christianity cemented the week as a human convention. In Old English, the word for week was ‘wece’, which means change of direction, while the Old Norse word ‘vika’ means changing of oars, both accurately conveying the impact of the week on the human mind.

The week forces us into a monotonous routine, repeating itself predictably every seven days. It is also intimately linked with work and trains us to live our lives to a routine. But what if all days were equal? How would that change the way we approach work and leisure time? These questions are worth pondering.

Next, the month, the messiest of all man-made units of time. It’s a real head-scratcher, isn’t it? The Moon orbits the Earth thirteen times a year, giving us thirteen neat lunar months of twenty-eight days each. Simple, right? So why do we have twelve lopsided months of varying lengths? Thirty days for some, thirty-one for others, and poor February only gets twenty-eight, except in leap years. Why is September the ninth month, rather than the seventh, and why is October the tenth month, not the eighth? It’s a right kerfuffle.

And let’s not forget that the weeks don’t even line up with the months, except for February, which always seems to get the short end of the stick. Imagine if the centimetres on a ruler were all different lengths. Ludicrous, isn’t it? So why do we put up with this ugly asymmetry in our calendar? Why do we have a calendar at all?

Well, the answer lies in the word calendar itself. It comes from the Latin word “calends,” which was used to describe the monthly payment of debts and bills. Coincidence? I think not. Throughout history, calendars have been a powerful tool used by the ruling classes to control and tax the common folk. Everything from meetings to paychecks to leisure time is governed by the calendar and clock. It’s a rhythm of life that we’ve all grown accustomed to, but it’s a predictable and artificial pattern created by man, primarily with the aim of control and the motivation of greed.

The Gregorian calendar, introduced by Pope Gregory XIII in 1582, is the most widely used calendar in the world today. It’s a refinement of the Julian calendar, introduced by Julius Caesar in 45 BC, which was itself a refinement of an earlier Roman calendar that had only ten months and started with Martius (now known as March). More months were added over time for various reasons, eventually bringing the total to thirteen. With the lunar cycle of thirteen months, it would have been perfect to stop there. But Julius Caesar had other ideas, didn’t he?

You see, back in 46 BC, the transition from the Roman calendar to the new Julian calendar required an entire year of 445 days! Yes, you heard me right, 445 days! And understandably, that year became known as the ‘year of confusion.’ But that’s just the beginning of this wild tale.

Julius Caesar, the man behind this change, had abolished a leap month called Mercedonius and renamed Quintilis (initially the fifth month) to Julius. His successor, Augustus, was so impressed with this that he did the same with Sextilis (initially the sixth month) and renamed it Augustus. But here’s where it gets really interesting. Augustus was dismayed to discover that Julius’ month had one more day than his, so he did what any self-respecting emperor would do: he took a day from February, the already shortest month, to ensure both months had the same length. In other words, the reason months are months is because of a competition between two men who couldn’t agree on whose testicles were bigger.

But let’s take a step back and think about the impact of all this. You see, many ancient civilizations used a 28-day lunar cycle, which wasn’t an accident. Humans have been living in harmony with natural cycles for over 150,000 years, and for most of that time, our survival depended on it. But the creation of artificial routines like weeks and months has detached us from the natural cycles we’ve grown accustomed to.

Take women, for example. The 28-day menstrual cycle aligns perfectly with the lunar cycle. In ancient times, before the construction of weeks and months, women would have their menstruation aligned with the new Moon and their ovulation aligned with the full Moon. Imagine the impact this might have had if all women’s menstrual cycles were aligned.

Now, I know what you’re thinking. This is all very interesting, but what does it all mean? Well, my dear audience, that’s a question for another time. Join me for the next part of this fascinating tale, where we’ll explore the true impact of artificial time on the human psyche and what we can do to reclaim our connection to the natural cycles that have sustained us for millennia. Until then, keep questioning everything, my friends!

Crime and Punishment: A Review

I find myself in love with the art of writing, yet I confess I do not indulge in the act of reading nearly as much as I should. It's a curious thing, really. Each time I immerse myself in a book, I am left feeling invigorated and enlightened. The experience is never a letdown, for it always manages to bestow upon me some valuable insight. I tried the classic, Crime and Punishment, and was struck by its pertinence to contemporary existence. It's hard to believe that this masterpiece, crafted in the mid-nineteenth century, still speaks volumes to our modern-day lives.

The main character in Crime and Punishment, Raskolnikov, is a complex and tortured figure whose actions and thoughts are shaped by a number of internal and external factors. While the circumstances surrounding his life are unique, there are aspects of his story that can resonate with many people. In particular, his feelings of guilt, shame, and confusion may be relatable to anyone who is hiding a secret.

Raskolnikov is a character who is both driven and conflicted. His desire to prove himself as an extraordinary individual leads him to commit a murder, and while he initially feels that this action is justified, he is ultimately tormented by his guilt. His struggle to come to terms with his actions is compounded by his poverty, isolation, and sense of alienation from the world around him. These factors contribute to a deep sense of despair, as he tries to reconcile his own values with those of the society in which he lives.

Similarly, someone with a secret to hide may feel a similar sense of conflict and confusion. This person may feel torn between their feelings for their partner and their desire to be with someone else. They may experience feelings of guilt and shame, as well as a sense of isolation and alienation from the people around them. These feelings can be compounded by a sense of pressure from society to conform to traditional values and norms.

Like Raskolnikov, someone in this situation may also experience a sense of despair as they struggle to reconcile their own desires with the expectations of the world around them. They may feel trapped and powerless, unable to express their true feelings or pursue the life they want to live. They may also feel as though they are alone in their struggle, unable to share their feelings with others for fear of judgment or rejection.

Despite these challenges, both Raskolnikov and anyone in this situation may find hope in their ability to take responsibility for their actions and make positive changes in their lives. By acknowledging their feelings and taking steps to address them, they can begin to find a sense of peace and fulfilment. This may involve seeking therapy or counselling, talking to trusted friends or family members, or even ending a relationship if it is not fulfilling their needs.

Ultimately, the story of Crime and Punishment offers a powerful message of redemption and the possibility of finding meaning and purpose in life, even in the face of overwhelming challenges. While the circumstances surrounding Raskolnikov's life are extreme, his journey can offer insights and inspiration to anyone who is struggling to come to terms with their own desires and values. By embracing their true selves and taking action to live a more authentic life, they can find the peace and fulfilment they seek.

The Cemetery Chronicles: Personal Reflections on Northamptonshire's Graveyards - #1 London Road Cemetery, Kettering

#1 London Road Cemetery, Kettering

As a deep-thinking introvert, I have always found solace and tranquillity amidst the peaceful serenity of graveyards. During the toughest times in my life, a long walk through a cemetery has always been my refuge, helping to clear my mind, ease my anxiety, and reduce my stress. Being surrounded by the graves of so many departed souls provides me with a sense of perspective, reminding me that the problems that seem so big and insurmountable in my life are truly insignificant in the grand scheme of things.

And how fortunate am I to have so many beautiful cemeteries sprinkled throughout Northamptonshire and the surrounding counties. Through research into my family tree, I discovered that many of my own ancestors are buried right under my nose, which only adds to the richness and depth of my cemetery explorations.

In the late summer of 2019, I acquired a van after six years without a car, and my cemetery explorations could take on a new level of adventure and excitement. With a belly full of roast chicken or pork, my partner and I set off on Sunday afternoons like two explorers on a quest for hidden treasure. We braved rain, snow, wind, heat waves, and rainbows, laughing, singing, and munching on boiled sweets as we ventured forth in search of new discoveries.

London Road Cemetery is a quiet sanctuary that holds a special place in my heart. It's the final resting place of my great-grandfather, who passed away in 1999, as well as dozens of other relatives, including a 5th great-grandfather. But what makes this cemetery truly memorable are the little moments that I've shared there.

One such moment was the time I stumbled upon a bin full of dog poo bags in different colours. Maybe it was because I was love drunk, but I found something oddly beautiful about the scene. My date couldn't stop laughing, and I felt a little foolish for finding humour in such a thing, but it's those silly moments that stay with you.

The cemetery is also where I had my most romantic date. My beloved and I enjoyed egg mayonnaise and tuna sandwiches while sitting on a tree stump, and that spot will forever be unofficially ours.

I've seen the cemetery in all seasons, from the vibrant colours of autumn to the blanket of snow in winter, and it's always beautiful. Even on blisteringly hot summer days, when everything looks and smells green, there's a certain magic to the cemetery that can't be denied. And in the springtime, when the flowers are in bloom and the air is alive with the chirping of birds, it's uplifting to stroll among the graves and reflect on the cycle of life. Through every season, London Road Cemetery is a place of peace and reflection, a reminder that even in death, there is beauty to be found.

I remember the time we watched an ancient tree being fell, the smell of fresh wood filling the air. It was like witnessing a piece of history being dismantled before our very eyes. And then there was the time we were followed by a curious cat, always one step behind us, like a feline guardian angel watching over us as we wandered through the peaceful grounds.

We saw some characters there, too. Mad Dog and his mad dog, always a fascinating sight, and the infamous Nathan, a man who seemed to know every inch of the cemetery like the back of his hand. And the time we found a bird that looked like something out of Alien. It was a strange and wondrous discovery that added to the otherworldly vibe of the place.

But perhaps what I cherish most about London Road Cemetery is the hundreds of walks I've taken there, especially during the times when walking was all I could do to escape the pain I felt after losing my children. The serenity and beauty of the cemetery always gave me a sense of solace and comfort, a reminder that life goes on, even when it seems like the world has stopped. London Road Cemetery will always hold a special place in my heart, a testament to the power of nature and the resilience of the human spirit.

The Greatest Speech Ever Made

Transcript:

I’m sorry, but I don’t want to be an emperor. That’s not my business. I don’t want to rule or conquer anyone. I should like to help everyone - if possible - Jew, Gentile - black man - white. We all want to help one another. Human beings are like that. We want to live by each other’s happiness - not by each other’s misery. We don’t want to hate and despise one another. In this world there is room for everyone. And the good earth is rich and can provide for everyone. The way of life can be free and beautiful, but we have lost the way.

Greed has poisoned men’s souls, has barricaded the world with hate, has goose-stepped us into misery and bloodshed. We have developed speed, but we have shut ourselves in. Machinery that gives abundance has left us in want. Our knowledge has made us cynical. Our cleverness, hard and unkind. We think too much and feel too little. More than machinery we need humanity. More than cleverness we need kindness and gentleness. Without these qualities, life will be violent and all will be lost.

The aeroplane and the radio have brought us closer together. The very nature of these inventions cries out for the goodness in men - cries out for universal brotherhood - for the unity of us all. Even now my voice is reaching millions throughout the world - millions of despairing men, women, and little children - victims of a system that makes men torture and imprison innocent people.

To those who can hear me, I say - do not despair. The misery that is now upon us is but the passing of greed - the bitterness of men who fear the way of human progress. The hate of men will pass, and dictators die, and the power they took from the people will return to the people. And so long as men die, liberty will never perish. …..

Soldiers! don’t give yourselves to brutes - men who despise you - enslave you - who regiment your lives - tell you what to do - what to think and what to feel! Who drill you - diet you - treat you like cattle, use you as cannon fodder. Don’t give yourselves to these unnatural men - machine men with machine minds and machine hearts! You are not machines! You are not cattle! You are men! You have the love of humanity in your hearts! You don’t hate! Only the unloved hate - the unloved and the unnatural! Soldiers! Don’t fight for slavery! Fight for liberty!

In the 17th Chapter of St Luke it is written: “the Kingdom of God is within man” - not one man nor a group of men, but in all men! In you! You, the people have the power - the power to create machines. The power to create happiness! You, the people, have the power to make this life free and beautiful, to make this life a wonderful adventure.

Then - in the name of democracy - let us use that power - let us all unite. Let us fight for a new world - a decent world that will give men a chance to work - that will give youth a future and old age a security. By the promise of these things, brutes have risen to power. But they lie! They do not fulfil that promise. They never will!

Dictators free themselves but they enslave the people! Now let us fight to fulfil that promise! Let us fight to free the world - to do away with national barriers - to do away with greed, with hate and intolerance. Let us fight for a world of reason, a world where science and progress will lead to all men’s happiness. Soldiers! in the name of democracy, let us all unite!

Final speech from The Great Dictator Copyright © Roy Export S.A.S. All rights reserved

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The Only People For Me

 

“[...]the only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars"

Jack Kerouac

Ridiculous Revenge

Some people view estranged parents who claim to suffer due to being separated from their children by the other parent as weak, but they could not be more wrong. Being a parent opens up a world of overwhelming responsibility and love, and we are programmed to do anything to protect our children. Unfortunately, this unconditional love makes us vulnerable to the pain inflicted when someone separates us from our children or undermines our ability to be a responsible parent. Deliberately separating a loving parent from their child and abusing them indefinitely is a way of inflicting severe and ongoing pain on them, but it is not in the best interest of the child.

The symptoms that abused children often manifest are alarming and it is appalling to think that a parent could knowingly hurt their child to hurt their former partner. Parental alienation is abuse, and it is now recognized as such by Cafcass. It is a blunt instrument deliberately contrived by one parent to hurt the other by hurting the one thing they have in common still, their children. The goal is to permanently sever the relationship between their ex and the children either by making them back away in fear or out of guilt generated by the impact their persistence is having on the children. The perpetrators play the victim in the process.

Imagine the mess it makes of a child's mind when they are forced to reject the parent trying to do what is right in favour of the one who holds all the power over them. The targeted parent experiences similar symptoms to those displayed by the abused children over time. They can never rest as the empowered targeting parent constantly changes their schedules and childcare patterns at will. It prevents them from focusing on their careers, well-being, and new relationships because they become obsessed with the abuse of their children. Parental alienation emotionally and often financially destroys the alienated parent. It is almost invisible to third parties who find it hard to believe anyone would stoop so low.

Parental alienation is the perfect revenge for the immoral perpetrator. It empowers them completely, enmeshes the children in the same way Stockholm Syndrome brainwashes captives desperate to survive. It is entirely counter-productive, destroying that which it purports to protect by undermining the earning capacity of the non-resident parent. It also creates a chain of problems for the children that will poison their future. With 1 in 3 marriages ending in divorce and parent alienation spreading like a virus, we cannot ignore the fast-growing evidence that the rates of unhappiness and depression among young people are growing at a frightening rate.

Hope

"Hope, in reality, is the worst of all evils because it prolongs the torment of man."

Friedrich Nietzsche    

Life Lessons From 100 Year Olds

The Cycle of Pain: Understanding the Roots of Aggression and Moving Towards Compassion

It's hard to deny the overwhelming sense of hurt and frustration that arises when we are on the receiving end of someone's hurtful behaviour. In those moments, it can be all too easy to feel a seething anger and a desire for retribution. We may feel that the only way to address the pain is to lash out in turn, to make the person who caused us suffering experience the same level of hurt that we have felt.

And yet, upon closer examination, we often find that this desire for revenge is rooted in a deep sense of pain and vulnerability. The wounds we carry may be old and difficult to heal, and the actions of others can re-open those wounds with alarming ease. In this sense, it is not so much the individual who has caused us harm that we hate, but rather the pain and fear that we associate with that experience. It is only by acknowledging and addressing that pain that we can hope to move past it and create a more compassionate and understanding world.

Consider the notion that every act of cruelty or aggression stems from a place of pain. A person who inflicts harm upon another is often carrying a weight of suffering within themselves that they cannot bear alone. It is this internal struggle that spills over and manifests as outward aggression.

But is punishment the answer? Is it enough to simply castigate and condemn the offender, without ever examining the root cause of their behaviour? Surely, if we hope to make any meaningful change, we must first offer help to those who are suffering.

Understanding the source of another's pain requires a deep sense of empathy and compassion. It is only through this lens that we can begin to recognize the humanity in all people, even those who have caused us harm. Only then can we hope to create a world in which healing and growth are possible for all.

All I Want For Christmas

If we could all have our wishes come true in this life, what would yours be?

I know what mine would be. I’d wish for you both to come back to me.

You see, your mummy decided to take you out of my life a year ago when she asked the courts to stop me from being with you. Since then, things have worsened, with all contact between us being cut off.

Your mummy and I have not been in a great place for a while, but we tried to give you a good start in life. We promised to travel the selfless journey of parenthood together from the moment we laid eyes on you both. The hardest thing for me is to forgive myself for allowing this promise to be broken, leaving you without your daddy.

I wish I could turn back time.

My life has been full of wishes, and to say I’ve been blessed up until this nightmare began is a very truthful statement.

The memory of your births will never leave me. When I first laid my eyes on you both, I couldn’t quite understand how your mummy and I had created such perfect little people from scratch. Even to this moment, this memory still brings tears to my eyes.

A parent’s love reaches above and beyond anything else we feel as humans. My love for you has always been my strength, and my passion is to ensure you are happy and safe.

So right now, I wish I could hug you both as I used to whenever either of you were having a bad day, because I feel these days aren’t the best ones for any of us.

This Christmas will be empty without your morning cuddles and shrieks of excitement. It will not be the same without your laughter and conversations echoing through the house. You are my best friends, my laughter, my reason for believing in true love and most of all, you are both my reason for living. I wake up every morning hoping that my wishes come true and that my only wish for Christmas is to have you both come home.

To all the mothers and fathers reading this who have been alienated from their children, don’t give up hope; one day, the truth will be known.

To my own beautiful children, I hope to see you both very soon, and I hope your mummy has a change of heart. We are all human; humans make mistakes, and sometimes anger can cloud our judgment.

Your mummy is a good woman, and I will never say a bad word about her, even though she has been so cruel in her actions. I know the only people hurt by horrible statements and accusations in all this mess will be the two little people who matter the most.

Some day you will grow older, and someday, you may come across these stories and letters and wonder why?

Your memories of me, and all the wonderful things we did, will stay with you until you are old enough to find the answers for yourself.

So, my wish will stay as it is until I see those glimmering big brown and blue eyes and hear your beautiful voices again.

Love Daddy xx

Toxic People

How To Spot A Female Narcissist

Right, so you want to know how to spot a female narcissist, eh? Well, first off, let's talk about their physical appearance. These ladies, they like to dress to impress, if you know what I mean. They flaunt their sexy bits and bobs, and they're always going on about their hair and makeup, even for the most mundane tasks. Now, here's the thing, research has shown that narcissists are no better looking than anyone else, but these ladies, they think they're the bees' knees, the cat's pyjamas, the whole enchilada.

They're also big fans of brand names, oh yes. They feel entitled to the best of the best, and they're always buying new clothes, even when they don't need them. And when it comes to plastic surgery, they're more likely to go under the knife for a boob job than anything else. They just love being the centre of attention, and they'll even get a professional photographer to snap them for Facebook or online dating. They just can't resist showing off their best pics, can they?

Now, let's talk about their personality, shall we? These ladies, they insist on being the star of the show. They're always the life and soul of the party, and they're very good at selling themselves. They're also very materialistic and have a real sense of entitlement. They think they're special and deserve all the fame, fortune, success, and happiness in the world.

But here's the thing, they're also prone to envy, and they just love to undermine others. They'll tell you all sorts of secrets about how the two of you are so much better than everyone else. And when their friends do well, they'll find ways to put them down and make them feel small. And empathy? Forget about it. These ladies lack empathy, common courtesy, and they'll put you down without a second thought. And if they can exploit you, they will. They're also super competitive and think they're smarter than everyone else.

Now, when things go wrong, they'll never take the blame. Oh no, it's always someone else's fault. And if you confront them, they'll act all haughty, impatient, and condescending. They'll make excuses for their behaviour, and they'll never admit to lying to get what they want. And if you reject them, watch out, because they can get a bit psycho. They'll engage in risky behaviours, they've got addictive personalities, and they're prone to aggressive behaviour.

And finally, their moods and actions can be pretty unpredictable. You'll have trouble figuring out what they want or where you stand. They're capable of short-term regret and can apologize profusely, but it won't be long before they're back to their old narcissistic ways.

So, there you have it. That's how you can spot a female narcissist. Keep your eyes peeled, folks!

Remembrance Day

On this Remembrance Day, millions will stop at 11 am to remember those lost in military conflicts and wear the red poppy. But I won't. The poppy, inspired by the poem "In Flanders Fields," honours the sacrifices of the Armed Forces, but not the enemies' servicemen, women, or civilians. The UK has seen "poppy fascism," where people expect others to wear it, and there's uproar when someone chooses not to.

All loss of life is tragic, and I believe all life is equal, regardless of gender, colour, race, or religion. It's hard for me not to feel more sympathy for an innocent Iraqi civilian than a military serviceman who had a choice to be there. The military profession can no longer be seen as honourable. Those serving should question if their motives align with those of who they fight for.

My children's great-great grandparents fought (and died) in the Great War... for the enemy! They too were victims, innocent pawns sent to their deaths with no choice. I'd like to pay my respects to all my family on Remembrance Day, not just half. A red poppy to some would be quite an insult. All lives are worthy of remembrance. #RemembranceDay #redpoppy #honoringall

Only Once In Your Life

Parental Responsibility

In the world of parenting, bringing new life into the world comes with immense responsibility. It is a responsibility that requires maturity and a willingness to put someone else's needs ahead of one's own. A strong relationship between both parents is crucial, and it should be capable of withstanding even the toughest strains of parenthood. As first-time parents, raising a child can be difficult and not something to be taken lightly. It is a responsibility that should not be entered into without careful thought and planning, as it is not fair on the children.

A relationship with children should be worked at and, in most cases, six weeks is not enough time. Sometimes relationships may end, but when it comes to children, both parents should do everything possible to ensure that their children are not negatively affected by the split, regardless of whose 'fault' it is. Neither parent should look to gain from the split, whether financially or in terms of parenting.

Children should have contact with both parents as they did when they lived together as a family, except in extreme circumstances. Children do not choose for their parents to split up, and they should not have to bear the brunt of any disputes between their parents.

I missed out on knowing my biological father because my parents decided not to be together, and I did not choose that. I take full responsibility for my own mistakes and my decision to procreate with someone, but I do not believe my children should suffer because of my actions.

Some women have the maturity to maintain close contact with their children's father even after their romantic relationship ends. It is commendable that they resist the urge to sever ties as punishment for past indiscretions because they understand that by punishing the ex, they would be punishing their children.

It is important to separate personal feelings from the responsibilities of being a parent. When a relationship ends, both parents must ensure that their children have a loving and meaningful relationship with both parents and both extended families. Children have a right to maintain a relationship with both parents, and it is a basic human right that should not be denied.

When one parent attempts to alter the share of parenting when a relationship ends or tries to prevent their children from contacting the other parent because of their personal feelings towards that parent, it is manipulative and abusive, both to the absent parent and to the children. As someone who has experienced this both as a child and as a parent, I feel confident in saying that such behavior is always wrong.

Why Is This Happening?

"The parent who has left home, of course, is in a far weaker position than the furious mother. Indeed, a lot of fathers are sufficiently intimidated that contact with their children gradually shrivels and even stops. If a dad insists on seeing them, the mother may eventually realise that she can't continue refusing access without a very good reason. At that point, she may set about producing one."

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2678528/The-vengeful-mothers-tear-fathers-childrens-lives-Britains-parenting-guru-one-unspoken-scandals-age.html#ixzz3cBngfzKu