Thursday, 24 December 2015

All I Want For Christmas

If we could all have our wishes come true in this life what would yours be?
I know what mine would be. I’d wish for you both to come back to me.
You see your mummy made a decision to take me out of your lives completely more than a year ago, when she asked the courts to stop me from being with you. Since then things have gone from bad to worse, with all contact between us having been cut off.
Your mummy and I have not been in a great place for a while but when we parented together I felt you both had a better start in this life than many children in the world today.
Together, your mummy and I made a promise that we would always make things work and continue on our selfless journey of parenthood together from the moment we laid eyes on you both. The hardest thing for me is to forgive myself for believing this promise and trusting her, because now you are left without your daddy around.
I wish I could turn back time.
My life has been full of wishes and to say I’ve been blessed up until this nightmare began is a very truthful statement.
The memory of your births will never leave me. When I first laid my eyes on you both I couldn’t quite understand how your mummy and I had created such perfect little people from scratch. Even to this moment this memory still brings tears to my eyes.
A parent’s love reaches above and beyond anything else we as feel as humans. My love for you both has always been my strength and my passion has always been to ensure you are both happy and safe.
So right now, I wish I could hug you both like I used to whenever either of you were having a bad day, because I feel these days aren’t the best ones for any of us.
This Christmas will be empty without your morning cuddles and shrieks of excitement. It will not be the same without your laughter and conversations echoing through the house.You are my best friends, my laughter, my reason for believing in true love and most of all you are both my reason for living. I wake up every morning with the hope that my wishes come true and that my only wish for Christmas is to have you both come home.
To all the mothers and fathers reading this who have been alienated from their children — don’t ever give up hope, one day the truth will be known.
To my own beautiful children, I hope to see you both very soon and I hope your mummy has a change of heart. We are all human and humans make mistakes and sometimes anger can cloud our judgment.
Your mum is a good woman deep down and I will never say a bad word about her even though she has been so cruel in her actions. I know the only people hurt by horrible statements and accusations in all this mess will be the two little people who matter the most.
Some day you will both grow older and some day you may come across these stories and letters and wonder why?
I truly believe your memories of me as your daddy and all the wonderful things we did in that short time will stay with you until you are old enough to find the answers for yourself.
So for now my wish will stay as it is, until I see those glimmering big brown and blue eyes and hear your beautiful voices.
Merry Christmas to my much loved and immeasurably missed children,
Love, Daddy

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