Tuesday 29 December 2015

Higher Without You



You can hold on if you want to,
But you know I never let you go.
Ain't nobody there to talk to,
Nobody's a whole in this life.

Only if you could see the bright side,
Of waking up and being alone.
If only you could see the future,
It's all yours now,
Cause I know I'll be higher without you now,
Keeping up a life somehow,
Oh you'll be lighter without me girl,
Feeling alright somehow.
I'll be higher without you now,
Keeping up a life somehow,
Oh you'll be lighter without me girl,
Feeling alright somehow.

Cause I know I'll be higher,
Without you.
Higher,
On my own.
You'll be higher,
Without me.
Higher,
On your own.

Higher without you now,
Keeping up a life somehow,
Oh you'll be lighter without me girl,
Feeling alright somehow
I'll be higher without you now,
Keeping up a life somehow,
Oh you'll be lighter without me girl,
Feeling alright somehow...
Feeling alright somehow...
Feeling alright somehow.

You can hold on if you want to,
But you know I never let you go.
Ain't nobody there to talk to,
Nobody's a whole in this life.

Only if you could see the bright side,
Of waking up and being alone.
If only you could see the future,
It's all yours now.

Thursday 24 December 2015

All I Want For Christmas



If we could all have our wishes come true in this life, what would yours be?
I know what mine would be. I’d wish for you both to come back to me.
You see, your mummy decided to take you out of my life a year ago when she asked the courts to stop me from being with you. Since then, things have worsened, with all contact between us being cut off.
Your mummy and I have not been in a great place for a while, but we tried to give you a good start in life. We promised to travel the selfless journey of parenthood together from the moment we laid eyes on you both. The hardest thing for me is to forgive myself for allowing this promise to be broken, leaving you without your daddy.
I wish I could turn back time.
My life has been full of wishes, and to say I’ve been blessed up until this nightmare began is a very truthful statement.
The memory of your births will never leave me. When I first laid my eyes on you both, I couldn’t quite understand how your mummy and I had created such perfect little people from scratch. Even to this moment, this memory still brings tears to my eyes.
A parent’s love reaches above and beyond anything else we feel as humans. My love for you has always been my strength, and my passion is to ensure you are happy and safe.
So right now, I wish I could hug you both as I used to whenever either of you were having a bad day, because I feel these days aren’t the best ones for any of us.
This Christmas will be empty without your morning cuddles and shrieks of excitement. It will not be the same without your laughter and conversations echoing through the house. You are my best friends, my laughter, my reason for believing in true love and most of all, you are both my reason for living. I wake up every morning hoping that my wishes come true and that my only wish for Christmas is to have you both come home.
To all the mothers and fathers reading this who have been alienated from their children, don’t give up hope; one day, the truth will be known.
To my own beautiful children, I hope to see you both very soon, and I hope your mummy has a change of heart. We are all human; humans make mistakes, and sometimes anger can cloud our judgment.
Your mummy is a good woman, and I will never say a bad word about her, even though she has been so cruel in her actions. I know the only people hurt by horrible statements and accusations in all this mess will be the two little people who matter the most.
Some day you will grow older, and someday, you may come across these stories and letters and wonder why?
Your memories of me, and all the wonderful things we did, will stay with you until you are old enough to find the answers for yourself.
So, my wish will stay as it is until I see those glimmering big brown and blue eyes and hear your beautiful voices again.
Love Daddy xx

Friday 18 December 2015

How To Spot A Female Narcissist


Right, so you want to know how to spot a female narcissist, eh? Well, first off, let's talk about their physical appearance. These ladies, they like to dress to impress, if you know what I mean. They flaunt their sexy bits and bobs, and they're always going on about their hair and makeup, even for the most mundane tasks. Now, here's the thing, research has shown that narcissists are no better looking than anyone else, but these ladies, they think they're the bees' knees, the cat's pyjamas, the whole enchilada.

They're also big fans of brand names, oh yes. They feel entitled to the best of the best, and they're always buying new clothes, even when they don't need them. And when it comes to plastic surgery, they're more likely to go under the knife for a boob job than anything else. They just love being the centre of attention, and they'll even get a professional photographer to snap them for Facebook or online dating. They just can't resist showing off their best pics, can they?

Now, let's talk about their personality, shall we? These ladies, they insist on being the star of the show. They're always the life and soul of the party, and they're very good at selling themselves. They're also very materialistic and have a real sense of entitlement. They think they're special and deserve all the fame, fortune, success, and happiness in the world.

But here's the thing, they're also prone to envy, and they just love to undermine others. They'll tell you all sorts of secrets about how the two of you are so much better than everyone else. And when their friends do well, they'll find ways to put them down and make them feel small. And empathy? Forget about it. These ladies lack empathy, common courtesy, and they'll put you down without a second thought. And if they can exploit you, they will. They're also super competitive and think they're smarter than everyone else.

Now, when things go wrong, they'll never take the blame. Oh no, it's always someone else's fault. And if you confront them, they'll act all haughty, impatient, and condescending. They'll make excuses for their behaviour, and they'll never admit to lying to get what they want. And if you reject them, watch out, because they can get a bit psycho. They'll engage in risky behaviours, they've got addictive personalities, and they're prone to aggressive behaviour.

And finally, their moods and actions can be pretty unpredictable. You'll have trouble figuring out what they want or where you stand. They're capable of short-term regret and can apologize profusely, but it won't be long before they're back to their old narcissistic ways.

So, there you have it. That's how you can spot a female narcissist. Keep your eyes peeled, folks!

Wednesday 11 November 2015

Remembrance Day


Poppy appeal image

On this Remembrance Day, millions will stop at 11 am to remember those lost in military conflicts and wear the red poppy. But I won't. The poppy, inspired by the poem "In Flanders Fields," honours the sacrifices of the Armed Forces, but not the enemies' servicemen, women, or civilians. The UK has seen "poppy fascism," where people expect others to wear it, and there's uproar when someone chooses not to.

All loss of life is tragic, and I believe all life is equal, regardless of gender, colour, race, or religion. It's hard for me not to feel more sympathy for an innocent Iraqi civilian than a military serviceman who had a choice to be there. The military profession can no longer be seen as honourable. Those serving should question if their motives align with those of who they fight for.

My children's great-great grandparents fought (and died) in the Great War... for the enemy! They too were victims, innocent pawns sent to their deaths with no choice. I'd like to pay my respects to all my family on Remembrance Day, not just half. A red poppy to some would be quite an insult. All lives are worthy of remembrance. #RemembranceDay #redpoppy #honoringall





Monday 2 November 2015

Never Forget


I don't know what it was
that made me love you.
Or what it was that made you
Hate me the way you do.
I remember what you said
And I remember what you did
And it never made sense

You were there
And then you weren't

You had my heart
And I had yours
You said it was love
So I stayed

Maybe it was too much
Maybe it wasn't enough

But I will never forget
The way you made me feel
Like I was everything
And I will never forget
The way you made me feel
Like I was nothing

Antonio M. Arce

Thursday 15 October 2015

Parental Responsibility

In the world of parenting, bringing new life into the world comes with immense responsibility. It is a responsibility that requires maturity and a willingness to put someone else's needs ahead of one's own. A strong relationship between both parents is crucial, and it should be capable of withstanding even the toughest strains of parenthood. As first-time parents, raising a child can be difficult and not something to be taken lightly. It is a responsibility that should not be entered into without careful thought and planning, as it is not fair on the children.

A relationship with children should be worked at and, in most cases, six weeks is not enough time. Sometimes relationships may end, but when it comes to children, both parents should do everything possible to ensure that their children are not negatively affected by the split, regardless of whose 'fault' it is. Neither parent should look to gain from the split, whether financially or in terms of parenting.

Children should have contact with both parents as they did when they lived together as a family, except in extreme circumstances. Children do not choose for their parents to split up, and they should not have to bear the brunt of any disputes between their parents.

I missed out on knowing my biological father because my parents decided not to be together, and I did not choose that. I take full responsibility for my own mistakes and my decision to procreate with someone, but I do not believe my children should suffer because of my actions.

Some women have the maturity to maintain close contact with their children's father even after their romantic relationship ends. It is commendable that they resist the urge to sever ties as punishment for past indiscretions because they understand that by punishing the ex, they would be punishing their children.

It is important to separate personal feelings from the responsibilities of being a parent. When a relationship ends, both parents must ensure that their children have a loving and meaningful relationship with both parents and both extended families. Children have a right to maintain a relationship with both parents, and it is a basic human right that should not be denied.

When one parent attempts to alter the share of parenting when a relationship ends or tries to prevent their children from contacting the other parent because of their personal feelings towards that parent, it is manipulative and abusive, both to the absent parent and to the children. As someone who has experienced this both as a child and as a parent, I feel confident in saying that such behavior is always wrong.

Friday 5 June 2015

Why Is This Happening?

"The parent who has left home, of course, is in a far weaker position than the furious mother. Indeed, a lot of fathers are sufficiently intimidated that contact with their children gradually shrivels and even stops. If a dad insists on seeing them, the mother may eventually realise that she can't continue refusing access without a very good reason. At that point, she may set about producing one."

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2678528/The-vengeful-mothers-tear-fathers-childrens-lives-Britains-parenting-guru-one-unspoken-scandals-age.html#ixzz3cBngfzKu

Wednesday 20 May 2015

It Is Better Than Ten Guilty Persons Escape Than That One Innocent Suffers...

In his Commentaries on the laws of England first published in 1765, William Blackstone, an English jurist laid one of the foundations of our cherished principles of due process, along the lines of the universally understood maxim that all free men are innocent until proven guilty, by including in his manifesto (still the cornerstone of the principles of British Justice) that “it is better that 10 guilty persons escape than that one innocent suffer”.

In 1785 Benjamin Franklin, clearly wishing to underline and solidify this remarkable principle once and for all (as if there might be those who wished one day to bend it) left us in little doubt over his sentiment when he raised the ratio, declaring“that it is better that 100 guilty persons should escape than that one innocent person should suffer.”
The principle is one that cannot be argued, one that cannot, by any reasonable person at least. We all get it, don’t we? For as bad as it may be to allow the guilty to walk, the idea of being the one wrongly condemned is unbearable. For all of us. And so we have safeguards, the principles of justice that guard against the unthinkable happening to us.

Staggering then, and actually unbelievable, that these principles are not only thrown out of the window when you open the door to the family court, but that this beautiful principle is actually demolished, with no trace of shame, or even recognition that the reversal of this principle might be, it may just be, the worst possible scenario for all concerned; that reversing it may lead to the most devastating and catastrophic and miserable miscarriage of justice; an almost routine conveyor belt of miscarriages of justice.

Now here’s the punchline to this brutal joke: what’s the worst, I mean the very worst imaginable thing that could happen to you? Ask this question to any parent, and the answer would invariably be one concerning the loss of one’s children, the harm of our kids. Just consider: how many parents would die for their children?

Death is preferable than losing them, and we instinctively get that, for it’s the rule of biology, the fabric of our being, the root of our DNA: survival, the perpetuation of the species, at the cost, if necessary, to our own mortality. Scientifically it is perfectly obvious, from the biological imperative, it makes perfect sense. Emotionally, it is no less pertinent.

We only live once, and anyone who supposes otherwise simply does not have evidence on their side, and extraordinary claims must require extraordinary evidence.

But I’ll offer a single caveat to this observable fact: we do live beyond our own demise: only once; through our children. We carry on, literally. Our genes survive into the unknown; this force is the most spectacular of forces, and the impulse to see this happen has driven the evolution of not just our species, but all species, and driven the delirious plethora of life on earth for hundreds of millions of years. To stop ourselves from living this impulse is impossible, it cannot be done. Nature takes care of our survival for us, like breathing, it is not voluntary, it is life.

And in the arena of family court; we are asked to stop living.

We are demanded to stop under penalty of losing our children, which often happens even if we concede defeat. The impossible is demanded of us, and it is done under the wretched 1989 Children Act which failed to get its ducks in a row and define exactly what its holy grail was when it neglected to be specific with its paramountcy principle: that of the ‘best interest of the children being’….blah blah blah.

And it is blah blah because nothing adds up, ever. Either we have principles of justice, or we do not. Either we have a line that cannot be crossed on principle, or we do not. The law has to be black and white, even if each case is different; for every murder is ‘different’ but the law must remain the same. The principle is the thing, and within that safeguard, we all have a chance of living without being molested by the long arm of the state.

Blackstone and Franklin would have been disgusted at the casual breaking of this rule, and how the principles of family law mutated and disfigured themselves into the complete antithesis of the maxim of universal, human justice.

For if a man, any man, any father in the UK is ‘safe’ from the routine miscarriages of justice in family law, well then I demand to see the evidence. Let us assume his innocence to a criminal standard of proof: innocent of any offence that might result in the loss of his essential freedoms, those enshrined in article 8 of the Human Rights Act, that being ‘The right to a family life’.

He is not safe. If his wife, or partner, or simply the mother of his children wished to remove said children from his life, and declare that he never see them again, then she can. Any father, no matter how secure they perceive themselves to be in their fatherhood, can , and routinely does, lose his children.

And not a shred of evidence is required on her part. But the family court side-steps this inconvenient little problem by simply re-writing the principle of innocent until proven guilty: guilt is assumed from the start. Funnier still, as if this weren’t hilarious enough, the very notion of ‘guilt’ is re-written too, to really tie the applicant father up in knots, and expensive legal counsel too.

For ‘guilt’ metamorphasises into the ‘best interests of the child’ principle, and no one likes to argue with that, for it sounds so reasonable. It is anything but. ‘Guilt’ now means anything and everything. And nothing. They have it at their discretion, and if we argue the toss, we are guilty of being angry and misguided and volatile and dangerous, because in the family court, these are crimes, and no proof is required to make them stick.

Cafcass are usually ready and waiting to set the wheels of presumed guilt into motion when they write their ‘reports’ their ‘finding of fact’ essays- there is no irony here. Cafcass approach each and every report in the following way: to assess if there is any ’cause for concern’ that the court ought to be aware of when making decisions about child access arrangements. No matter if there never were any in the first place, or that none have ever been suggested in the first place. That is their job: to assess the danger to the child, the possible ramifications and consequences of allowing ‘contact’ to take place.

Well, I never needed a report when my child was born, nor when I took my baby home from hospital, or to Spain, or the park, or to my dad’s for lunch. Now I need a report? What on earth? Why? Because I’m separating from his mum, and entering the family court and its attendant services? The ones where everything concerning natural justice, and the tenants of innocence are exactly upside down, inside out and back to front? Exactly.

The ‘Children and Family Court Advisory and Support Service’ didn’t used to be so called. They used to be the plain old Probationary Service. They assessed convicted criminals on their release from prison, and made the necessary adjustments required to facilitate their return to society. Which is why Cafcass do what they do: because it’s who they are.

In 2001, under Labour, the service was streamlined, and the P.S became Cafcass; a sideways move into a new area of criminal practice: that of the father, and his assumed guilt of everything and anything. They all kept their jobs but had a re-branding. But this is in their DNA: ‘protecting’ society, especially children from the dangerous and the nefarious; the target had just been widened to catch Harriet Bin Harman’s new, more cunning criminal: the wolf in sheep’s clothing. The Father.

Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence. Therefore, “what can be asserted without evidence, can also be dismissed without evidence” as Christopher Hitchens understood. What records then do the family courts keep on the outcomes for children whom they have decided the fate of? What outcomes do Cafcass keep in the same instances? How do they know what the outcomes are if they keep no records, have never kept any records? Ever? How can they inform best practice? How can they, with such confidence, such outrageous arrogance, make their decisions? How can they call that which is not based on evidence (since the family court has never required or insisted on any when making the ultimate decision) a decision that is in anyone’s best interests?

Let alone in the interests of the principle laid down by Blackstone two and a half centuries ago?

The rhetorical questions are too easy aren’t they? But is it not our right, our duty, our obligation to demand answers to them nonetheless; or at least demand that the family courts stop exactly where they are, and urgently re-assess their principles?

Those that govern every other facet of law in this country, and moreover the principles that govern a healthy and humane society? The principles that were recognised centuries ago as men emerged from the backward, the stunted, the terrified, the clawing dark ages into the age of reason, of due process, of truth and of justice and of light?

Let us hope for our children and our children’s children’s sake that it does not take another weighty, cumbersome legal tome, and another 250 years of enlightenment, for family law to live by the principles of decent, good human beings everywhere and emerge from the dark ages of fear and stupidity and prejudice that so retarded our civilisation for such an unforgivably drawn out period of time. ch'lo vintage chlo shabby chic


Wednesday 13 May 2015

Monday 4 May 2015

Everlasting Love

Every day that passes, you're away
I can't help but think of you
How are you doing, what have you been up to?
I hope and pray that you're alright
That your happiness is unbridled, your troubles light.

My love for you will not falter, no matter where you go
I'll follow you through joy and woe
For always, and always more
As you, my children, are my core.

I love you, always.

Sunday 19 April 2015

Thinking About You


Dear x & x,

Hi! It feels like a million years since I last saw you! I hope you and x are doing well. Do you ever wonder about me? Because I think about you every single day!

Remember how I said we'd see each other soon? Well, it's taking a little bit longer than I thought, but I promise we will be reunited before you know it. I know you can be patient because you're both so good at it!

At Christmas, you wanted to come home with me, and I really wished you could too! I have your presents with me, and they're feeling a bit lonely without you. I'm going to try my best to send them to you, so they can be played with and have some fun!

When you were born, I promised to never leave you, but things didn't quite work out that way. I'm so sorry for that, but I want you to know that I love you with all my heart. We will be together again soon, and until then, just remember that I'm thinking about you all the time.

Lots of love,

Daddy xx




Monday 13 April 2015

Some Important Statistics


1. 90% of homeless children are from fatherless homes

2. 63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes

3. 80% of suicides are by men

4. 85% of all children who exhibit behavioural disorders come from fatherless homes

5. 85% of all youths in prison come from fatherless homes

6. 90% of the homeless are men

7. 90% of divorce applications are from women

8. Primary care is given to only 10% of men in court rulings

Source: avoiceformen.com


The statistics are not pretty, but they are eye-opening. The numbers show us that the lack of a father figure has a devastating impact on children, particularly boys.

The facts are hard to ignore: 90% of homeless children come from fatherless homes, and 63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes. This is not just a coincidence. These numbers are a clear indication of how much a father’s presence in a child’s life can make a difference.

The numbers don't lie. 80% of suicides are by men, and 90% of the homeless are men. There is a clear correlation between fatherless homes and men's struggles in society. But what can we do about it?

One solution is shared parenting. If both parents have an equal amount of time with their children, it can create a more stable and nurturing environment. It also means that both parents can be actively involved in their child's life, which is especially important during the critical developmental years.

It's time to change the way society views fathers. The court system needs to provide primary care to both parents in a divorce case, not just one. The fact that primary care is only given to 10% of men in court rulings is unacceptable. This needs to change.

Fathers should be given the opportunity to be active participants in their children's lives. Children who grow up with both parents present in their lives have better outcomes in life. It's not about who is right or wrong; it's about creating a stable and nurturing environment for our children.

Let us all advocate for shared parenting and give our children the best chance at a healthy and happy life.


Monday 30 March 2015

Lost Contact



The clock ticks down. In less than two days, all communication with my children will be lost forever.

My mind races with unanswered questions. Why have my children been kept from me? Why am I being accused of these heinous crimes? The accusations are endless, ranging from domestic violence to drug abuse. I have been to court seventeen times, facing these accusations without legal representation. I have been thrown in jail for ten days, with no evidence to justify the imprisonment.

For three long years, my children have been living with their mother, with only minimal contact with me. I have continued to make my monthly payments, hoping for a chance to have a say in their upbringing. But all my efforts have been in vain.

The truth is shrouded in darkness. I am lost and confused, not knowing what to believe. Was this all part of some twisted plan? Why has this happened to me?

But one thing is certain. I will never give up. I will keep fighting, keep searching for answers. The truth will be revealed, and I will be reunited with my children. I will not rest until justice is served.







Sunday 15 March 2015

Friday 13 March 2015

Broken Promises: A Father's Agony


All night long, I stayed by her bedside, holding her hand. As dawn broke, our daughter came into this world. The moment I cradled her in my arms, I was smitten, head over heels in love. And I vowed, right then and there, that I would always be there for her, come what may. But fate had other plans, and someone else broke that promise for me. My little girl was taken away, and I was powerless to stop it.

Now, day in and day out, I carry an unspeakable pain, a weight on my heart that never lifts. I catch only brief glimpses of my children, if at all, exchanging nothing more than holiday greetings. They're out there somewhere, living their lives, but I have no idea where, with whom, or how they're doing. I can't reach out to them, can't whisper in their ears that I love them. It's an agony that never lets up.

Happy Mother's Day.


Thursday 5 March 2015

The Script - Breakeven




I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing
Just prayed to a God that I don't believe in
'Cause I got time while she got freedom
'Cause when a heart breaks, no, it don't break even

Her best days were some of my worst
She finally met a man that's gonna put her first
While I'm wide awake she's no trouble sleeping
'Cause when a heart breaks no it don't break even... even... no

What am I supposed to do when the best part of me was always you?
And what am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and you're OK?
I'm falling to pieces, yeah,
I'm falling to pieces

They say bad things happen for a reason
But no wise words gonna stop the bleeding
'Cause she's moved on while I'm still grieving
And when a heart breaks no it don't break even, even... no

What am I gonna do when the best part of me was always you?
And what am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and you're OK?
I'm falling to pieces, yeah,
I'm falling to pieces, yeah,
I'm falling to pieces
(One still in love while the other one's leaving)
I'm falling to pieces
('Cause when a heart breaks no it don't break even)

Oh, you got his heart and my heart and none of the pain
You took your suitcase, I took the blame.
Now I'm tryna make sense of what little remains, ooh
'Cause you left me with no love and honour to my name.

I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing
Just prayed to a God that I don't believe in
'Cause I got time while she got freedom
'Cause when a heart breaks, no, it don't break...
No, it don't break
No, it don't break even, no

What am I gonna do when the best part of me was always you?
And what am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and you're OK?
(Oh glad you're okay now)
I'm falling to pieces, yeah
I'm falling to pieces, yeah
(Oh I'm falling, falling)
I'm falling to pieces,
(One still in love while the other one's leaving)
I'm falling to pieces
('Cause when a heart breaks, no, it don't break even)

Oh, it don't break even no
Oh, it don't break even no
Oh, it don't break even no

Wednesday 25 February 2015

James Morrison - Broken Strings ft. Nelly Furtado



Let me hold you
For the last time
It's the last chance to feel again
But you broke me
Now I can't feel anything

When I love you,
It's so untrue
I can't even convince myself
When I'm speaking,
It's the voice of someone else

Oh it tears me up
I try to hold on, but it hurts too much
I try to forgive, but it's not enough to make it all okay

You can't play on broken strings
You can't feel anything that your heart don't want to feel
I can't tell you something that ain't real

Oh the truth hurts
And lies worse
How can I give anymore
When I love you a little less than before

Oh what are we doing
We are turning into dust
Playing house in the ruins of us

Running back through the fire
When there's nothing left to save
It's like chasing the very last train when it's too late

Oh it tears me up
I try to hold on, but it hurts too much
I try to forgive, but it's not enough to make it all okay

You can't play on broken strings
You can't feel anything that your heart don't want to feel
I can't tell something that ain't real

Well the truth hurts,
And lies worse
How can I give anymore
When I love you a little less than before

But we're running through the fire
When there's nothing left to save
It's like chasing the very last train
When we both know it's too late (too late)

You can't play on broken strings
You can't feel anything that your heart don't want to feel
I cant tell you something that ain't real

Well truth hurts,
And lies worse
How can I give anymore
When I love you a little less than before

Let me hold you for the last time
It's the last chance to feel again