Navigating Grief: The Loss of My Kids and Best Friend

Becoming a father was the most significant decision of my life. I grew up not knowing my own dad and haven't seen or spoken to him in over twenty-five years. My stepfather was an admirable man who raised me as his own. He did everything he could for me; he was the most selfless person I have ever known. I couldn't have asked for a better role model as a father. However, the love, respect, and admiration I felt for him could not cover the emptiness of not knowing my biological father.

I often wondered why my father didn't want to see me. Did he hate my mother or do something terrible to her? Maybe I was a mistake he wished he could forget. The truth is, I don't know, and I don't think I ever will. Whatever the reason, I always felt like I had done something wrong. Even though I had a happy childhood, I knew something was missing.

Growing up, I saw that relationships come and go, and it's rare for a couple to stay together forever. Most of my friends' parents were divorced or separated, and I didn't want my children to grow up without both parents. I knew the impact that could have, and I didn't want my kids to feel the way I did. So, I took the responsibility of parenthood very seriously. I spent my twenties in a happy relationship but didn't start a family. I knew the person I had children with had to be special.

After three years of being with Natascha, I knew she was that person. We were friends for a long time before things got serious. She was much more than my girlfriend; she was my best friend. I trusted her, and that was why I wanted her to have my children. It wasn't because she was pretty, talented, kind, or strong; it was because we had something deep, meaningful, and strong. I knew I had a friend for life, and she felt the same way. We were not rushing things, and we had something special that went beyond love.

However, eight weeks after the birth of our second child, Natascha fell out of love with me and destroyed our friendship. I am not angry with her; I am a realist, and I know falling out of love can happen. But, I am upset that she insisted we never see each other again. Becoming a parent isn't easy, and if she loved me, wouldn't she give it a little bit longer than eight weeks? Especially when our children's futures depend on it?

I still love her, and I always will. I thought I would love her for the rest of my life. I loved her not because she was gorgeous or loved me more than other girls had, but because of how I felt when I was with her. Being with her felt right, and we fit together perfectly. We used to call each other 'puzzle,' and I long for her company now. Even though she doesn't love me anymore, it doesn't stop me from loving her. I wish it would sometimes, but it doesn't.

If she doesn't want to be with me, I accept that, but I don't understand why we can't be friends. I can't force her to be with me, and I don't want to be with a woman who doesn't want to be with me.

Difficult

I’m often difficult to love.

I go through dark periods like the moon and I hide from myself.

But I promise I will kiss your wounds when they’re hurting. 

Even if they’re in your soul,

I can find them with the light in my fingertips.

I will lead you to the river so you can remember
 How beautiful it feels to be moved by something that is out of your control.

And when our dark periods match, we can breathe with the grass and look at the night sky.

The stars will remind us of the beauty in our struggles,
And we won’t feel lost anymore.

Einstein's Riddle

Albert Einstein reckoned that only two percent of the population would be able to solve this riddle.

Can you?

1. In a street there are five houses, painted five different colours.
2. In each house lives a person of different nationality.
3. These five homeowners each drink a different kind of beverage, smoke different brand of cigar and keep a different pet.

The question is: Who owns the FISH ?

Hints

1. The Brit lives in a red house.
2. The Swede keeps dogs as pets.
3. The Dane drinks tea.
4. The Green house is next to, and on the left of the White house.
5. The owner of the Green house drinks coffee.
6. The person who smokes Pall Mall rears birds.
7. The owner of the Yellow house smokes Dunhill.
8. The man living in the centre house drinks milk.
9. The Norwegian lives in the first house.
10. The man who smokes Blends lives next to the one who keeps cats.
11. The man who keeps horses lives next to the man who smokes Dunhill.
12. The man who smokes Blue Master drinks beer.
13. The German smokes Prince.
14. The Norwegian lives next to the blue house.
15. The man who smokes Blends has a neighbour who drinks water.


Click HERE for the answer, but only when you're ready!

The Paradoxical Commandments

The Paradoxical Commandments

by Kent M. Keith

• People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centred. Love them anyway.

• If you do good people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives. Do good anyway.

• If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies. Succeed anyway.

• The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway.

• Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable. Be honest and frank anyway.

• The biggest men and women with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest men and women with the smallest minds. Think big anyway.

• People favour underdogs but follow only top dogs. Fight for a few underdogs anyway.

• What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight. Build anyway.

• People really need help but may attack you if you do help them. Help people anyway.

• Give the world the best you have and you'll get kicked in the teeth. Give the world the best you have anyway.

Becoming A Freethinker And A Scientist

By Albert Einstein

Taken from: Albert Einstein's Autobiographical Notes

Open Court Publishing Company,

LaSalle and Chicago, Illinois, 1979. pp 3-5.

When I was a fairly precocious young man I became thoroughly impressed with the futility of the hopes and strivings that chase most men restlessly through life. Moreover, I soon discovered the cruelty of that chase, which in those years was much more carefully covered up by hypocrisy and glittering words than is the case today. By the mere existence of his stomach everyone was condemned to participate in that chase. The stomach might well be satisfied by such participation, but not man insofar as he is a thinking and feeling being.

As the first way out there was religion, which is implanted into every child by way of the traditional education-machine. Thus I came - though the child of entirely irreligious (Jewish) parents - to a deep religiousness, which, however, reached an abrupt end at the age of twelve. Through the reading of popular scientific books I soon reached the conviction that much in the stories of the Bible could not be true. The consequence was a positively fanatic orgy of freethinking coupled with the impression that youth is intentionally being deceived by the state through lies; it was a crushing impression. Mistrust of every kind of authority grew out of this experience, a skeptical attitude toward the convictions that were alive in any specific social environment-an attitude that has never again left me, even though, later on, it has been tempered by a better insight into the causal connections.

It is quite clear to me that the religious paradise of youth, which was thus lost, was a first attempt to free myself from the chains of the "merely personal," from an existence dominated by wishes, hopes, and primitive feelings. Out yonder there was this huge world, which exists independently of us human beings and which stands before us like a great, eternal riddle, at least partially accessible to our inspection and thinking. The contemplation of this world beckoned as a liberation, and I soon noticed that many a man whom I had learned to esteem and to admire had found inner freedom and security in its pursuit. The mental grasp of this extra-personal world within the frame of our capabilities presented itself to my mind, half consciously, half unconsciously, as a supreme goal. Similarly motivated men of the present and of the past, as well as the insights they had achieved, were the friends who could not be lost. The road to this paradise was not as comfortable and alluring as the road to the religious paradise; but it has shown itself reliable, and I have never regretted having chosen it.